Sunday, December 29, 2013

Name the Stupidest Part of this Story

Happy Sunday! Family get-together kept me from posting. I should be back to posting on Saturday again, pretty soon though.

So Nicky has just woken up in his coffin and given a "Bwaah-Bwaah" speech. In the real world, the personnel wouldn't be able to keep the throngs of people under control and they'd start trampling each other in order to get a closer look at their beloved leader. But in Ellanjayland, everyone files in, nice and orderly, to see Nicky.

There really isn't much more to say about the first section. Judd walks around, smirking about how he's got it all figured out. He runs into Z-Van who's going "We're not worthy!" The segment ends with Judd coming face to face with Nicky Mocho.

Meanwhile, Vicki and the American YTF are hiding in the rocky crags near their house as the GC raid the place. Darrion decides to steal a radio from one of the GC goons (don't ask me why but it's not yet the stupidest thing she does) so she and Vicki rappel down the side of the crags. And for those of you wondering, in true Ellanjay fashion, while they make a stab at trying to be suspenseful by having Darrion slip and almost fall, the experienced reader knows nothing will happen and just flips through these pages.

Darrion swipes a radio from one of their cars and they listen in. She decides to open up the trunk and see if there's any stuff they can use. As she does, the GC start coming their way. Darrion grabs Vicki and pulls her into the trunk with her.

My response, in a nutshell, is essentially a Picard-style headpalm. Seriously, what part of this sounded like a good idea?

Judd locks eyes with Nicky, wondering if Nicky can tell he's a believer. Fear not, though, nothing happens. They look at each other, Nicky talks on the phone to someone, and Z-Van and the rest of his band continue to go, "We're not worthy!" I am not making anything up.

So Vicki and Darrion are in the trunk of a GC vehicle, listening as the GC work. The GC then come, shut the trunk, and speed away with Darrion and Vicki still inside. :headdesk: I'm not sure who's stupider: Darrion for coming up with this plan, Vicki for going along with it even though a reasonably bright five-year-old could point out all the flaws in it, or the GC for not noticing that there are people stuffed in your trunk.

The rest of the YTF are wondering where Vicki and Darrion are. They watch as their home goes up in flames then go off in search of them. Again, that's all that happens. and his band forever and join the Tribbles, but Lionel tells him not to.

Next chapter begins with Vicki and Darrion getting banged around in the trunk as the GC vehicle speeds off. In the hands of a decent writer, they could milk this suspense for all it's worth, but like I said before, Ellanjay hate suspense. The rest of the YTF realize they have GTFO and leave.

Lionel is talking with Westin, aka the guy who converted in the last section. Westin wants to walk away from Z-Van and his band.

Westin sat on the bed and put his face in his hands. “I thought you’d tell me I needed to get away from these people as fast as I can.”
Lionel sat beside him. “We have a couple of friends who had a chance to work directly for Carpathia. They both took the jobs, even though they were believers. They felt God wanted them in that place.”

Clearly Lionel is referring to Our Buck and St. Rayford both of whom are bravely working for the enemy and doing everything in their power to thwart his machinations by...occasionally giving him disdainful looks and pulling stupid pranks that really don't do anything except allow Our Buck or St. Rayford to snicker for a few minutes. Albert Goering and Oskar Schindler are both giving the Picard-style headpalm.

Vicki and Darrion are struggling to open the trunk. But the fire set by the GC to destroy the YTF's home is spreading out of control so the GC abandon the vehicle, leaving Darrion and Vicki trapped inside. But since we know the characters are wearing titanium steel plot armor, we know nothing bad will happen to them, so forgive me for not gnawing my nails over them.

The fire has spread to the forest surrounding the house. The other YTF know they have to get out of there, so they steal one of the abandoned GC vehicles (not the one with Darrion and Vicki inside)and speed off. If you're wondering, there's only a brief "What about Darrion and Vicki?" among them. I'll forgive it though given that adrenaline is pumping, but once again, we should feel something, like say, their guilt about leaving Vicki and Darrion in enemy hands. But we don't.


Firedrake said...

Everyone filing in... shades of the queues past Lenin's mausoleum?

When did escape latches in car trunks become universal? A fair while ago, I think. (But Wikipedia says 2002.)

Why should the other YTFers worry about their buddies? Zod will look after them. Or he won't, and that'll be his plan too.

aunursa said...

I'm back. Didn't realize you had started posting again.