Excitement Level: 0

So the American branch of the YTF are rowing down the river and we find out that the repeated natural disasters have had some effect on the direction and course of the river. I could go into a long rant about how it should have had more of an effect, especially since Wormwood has essentially turned all the waters into the Salton Sea, but at this point my expectations for these books are below sea level, so I take what I can get.

Meanwhile, Carl is fleeing the GC, thinking that he'll hook up with one of the underground churches. As he flees, his superiors try to message him, hoping to coax him into surrendering. Naturally, he's not buying it.

Meanwhile, Vicki and the others are continuing to struggle down the river and what follows is essentially a long series of action verbs that's pretty much impossible to snark. Again, if this was another series where the characters are in actual danger, it'd be exciting, but since this is the LB-verse where bad things only happen to Butt Monkeys and the Whore of Babylon...yeah, I apologize for the poor quality of snark I'm providing.

More boring action-verby stuff happens and I nearly bash my head against my laptop in boredom, but the chapter ends with the YTF ashore just as a guy in a Chicago Cubs hat threatens them with a shotgun.

Next chapter, well, the fact there's a man with a gun, raises the excitement level just a little, but not much. Basically he asks them a few questions about a missing GC vehicle then inexplicably decides to take them home to his wife, who has the Zod-mark. :massages temples: My futile hope that something would happen just died.

Carl talks with Natalie.

Apparently the farm couple is Bo and Ginny Shairton once again demonstrating Ellanjay's tin ear when it comes to naming characters. Could those names be more hickish? Still, I should be grateful they're not ethnic names otherwise they'd be much more grating.

So Ginny cheerfully serves Zod after he cheerfully murdered raptured her adopted daughter, Amelia. They check Token Jew's website and receive a message from Carl saying that he's trying to get to South Carolina to hide with believers there and to lay low.

Bo and Ginny offer to let the YTF stay as long as they like and even lend them their car so they can escape if they want. Those who were just panting with anticipation for another conversion scene, there's one as Bo finally kneels before Zod and gets his mark. If you're wondering, it is the same exact prayer.

Carl makes it to South Carolina and meets up with believers Tom and Luke Gowin.

Now I thought I'd supply another chapter since so far, nothing has happened and the snark's a little skimpy.

We cut back to Lionel in Israel. I'm starting to think in addition to all my other tags, I should start a "Where's Lionel?" tag because he disappears for chapters at a time with no explanation except that Ellanjay do a piss-poor job of keeping track of their characters. It's almost enough to make me wish for the Lionel of earlier books: yeah, he was a total jerk-ass but at least he demonstrated personality.

So he and Judd ride in General Jew's car to Tel Aviv so they can go to Nicky's gala. And to a previous commenter who wondered why anyone would want to celebrate after all the death and destruction, we get a little acknowledgement of that fact.

The trip to Tel Aviv went quickly, but Lionel couldn’t help noticing signs of devastation. The GC had done a good job of cleaning up dead bodies slain by the horsemen. But those who were still alive looked like walking shells. They had lost husbands, wives, children, and friends. And now, Nicolae Carpathia was throwing a party. Lionel shook his head.

They meet up with Mac and we get some tech porn as he talks about his plane but mostly we get more exposition about stuff that's going on in the adult books. Apparently, Nicky and Leon have had it with the SuperPope (aka Peter Matthews) so something tells me we're getting close to the part of the series where he bites it. If I'm wrong, aunursa will correct me.

Oh and Hattie's being held by the GC.

After Mac gives his long spiel, Judd asks him for some advice regarding Kasim.

When Judd was through, Mac took a deep breath. “We know the big guy is going down at some point. Tsion believes it’s going to be by a sword of some sort, but there’s no way to know what that means for sure. If this Kasim is anything like his sister, he’ll follow through with his plans. With all the security, he’s committing suicide if he walks in with a weapon. The GC will probably execute him for even trying to kill Carpathia.”
“What should we do?”
“Stop him,” Mac said.

Uh, yeah, not seeing the threat here? Don't St. Rayford and Chaim try to kill him and it only makes him SuperEvil? So how would things be affected even more if Kasim tries as well and possibly dies in the process? Or is this another case of the super-delicate continuity possibly being screwed up?

Vicki and the others talk when they see a GC peacekeeper vehicle coming.

Judd talks with Lionel. He'd seen Kasim with a tourist group and is worried that he might have placed a bomb on Nicky's plane, endangering not only Nicky but everyone else aboard the plane. Me, I'm not concerned. I mean, suppose he did place a bomb and it reduced Nicky to charred remains. Couldn't that possibly be a good thing seeing as Nicky would be cinders and ashes. Or can Satan revive a pile of cinders and ashes?

I thought about throwin in another chapter but I'm bored enough for now, so it'll be just a three-chapter snark this week.