As stated last week, this week what awaits us is a long missive from Token Jew and I almost want to do another poll asking who's more irritating, Bruce "Useless" Barnes or Token Jew? I'm not sure I can decide though Bruce was on stage more unlike Token Jew who we mostly hear about through missives on his website. But Token Jew does also manage to be an insult to the Jewish people, so that alone might give him the edge in the Annoying-Off. I'll let my readers decided, though.
But anyway, let's get down to business.
“The deadly demon locusts prophesied in Revelation 9 finally died out after torturing millions. Many who were bitten at the end of that plague have recovered only three months ago.
“While many gave their lives to God after seeing this horrible judgment, most have become even more set in their ways. It should have been obvious to the leader of the Enigma Babylon One World Faith that followers of that religion suffered everywhere in the world. But we followers of Christ, the so-called rebels—enemies of tolerance— were spared.”
Darrion shook her head. “Makes you wonder why anyone wouldn’t believe the truth about God.”
So apparently it should be obvious that Zod beats us but we deserve it and we should be on our knees apologizing to Mister Zod* for making him that angry in the first place...is it any wonder that the religion preaching peace is still more popular? What's the point in worshipping Zod when he can just overturn your life and screw with you for no reason? At least if you worship Lovecraft's Elder Gods you get eaten first.
“It is helpful to know this current plague was created by the releasing of four angels bound in the Euphrates River. We know that these are fallen angels, because nowhere in Scripture do we ever see good angels bound. These were apparently bound because they wanted to create chaos on earth. Now they are free to do so. In fact, the Bible reveals they were prepared for a specific hour, day, month, and year.”
Melinda raised a hand. “I don’t get it. I thought angels were good.”
“They were all created by God to follow him,” Vicki said. “But a third of the angels followed Satan and became demons. Angels only got one chance to choose.”
Okay I'm seriously going "What?!" here. Just where in the bible does it say any of this. Though I do know that all that stuff Vicki's saying is the Bible according to John Milton or in other words, it's not actually in the Bible.
So Mark is inspired to write a series of numbers on the blackboard. He then explains them.
“Right. Tsion told us the horses and riders will kill a third of the population alive right now.” He pointed to the R. “After the Rapture came a great war, an earthquake, and meteors. All of that killed 25 percent of the people alive after the disappearances. That left 75 percent of the people who weren’t taken away by God. Follow closely. One-third of 75 percent is 25 percent, so the current wave of death will leave only 50 percent of the people left behind at the Rapture.”
Right...so how again is it that the earth still has a population? Let's try to work this out. Will start with 7 billion humans at time of Rapture. Let's see I suppose we can humour Ellanjay's delusions and assume that RTCs are indeed a persecuted minority but still remember EVERY FUCKING CHILD ON THE FUCKING PLANET WAS
Once again, I point you to Threads in order to clear the bad taste of Ellanjay's illogic out of your mouth.
“This next section is a little difficult,” Mark continued. “Tsion thinks God wants people to come to him, but this latest judgment might be preparation for the final battle between good and evil. He’s weeding out the people who won’t accept him.”
Wait, what now? I thought the whole point of these disasters was Zod was trying to reach out to the heathens and convert them. Granted he was trying to convert by killing them which really isn't a smart business plan, but wasn't that his whole plan. Now they're saying he's just killing off the unbelievers, which makes me wonder what's the point? If he hates unbelievers so badly, why not just send TurboJesus in now and let him kill Nicky already? aunursa, you wanna help me out? My brain hurts just trying to work out this illogic.
But Token Jew does try to make one concession to the "How is this compatible with a God of love?" crowd.
“Many of you have written and asked how a God of love and mercy could pour out such awful judgments upon the earth. God is more than a God of love and mercy. The Scriptures say God is love, yes. But they also say he is holy, holy, holy. He is just, as in justice. His love was expressed in the gift of his Son as the means of salvation. But if we reject this love gift, we fall under God’s judgment.
My response: what about the profoundly retarded who lack the wherewithal to accept any kind of God, those living in the darkest depths of the Amazon who haven't encountered any missionaries, and all the babies and kids who are going to die horribly as a result of these back to back disasters? I'm sure Zod won't have the horsemen attack the little ones just as he didn't have the demonic locusts attack the kids but being young wouldn't protect them from drinking bad water or freezing to death. I suppose they get a one-way ticket to Heaven which makes me wonder why the RTCs aren't killing kids like crazy. Not to mention, Zod is sending them to Hell which has been traditionally depicted and upheld by Ellanjay as a place of punishment with no end and I don't need to delve into all the wrong surrounding that. Just remember according to Ellanjay, Gandhi is in Hell because he lived and died a faithful Hindu, but Fred Phelps will get his pass to Heaven because he's a Christian.
“Imagine this world with half its population gone. If you think it is bad now with millions having disappeared in the Rapture, children gone, services and conveniences affected, try to fathom life with half of all civil servants gone. Firemen, policemen, laborers, executives, teachers, doctors, nurses, scientists … the list goes on. We are coming to a period where survival will be a full-time occupation.”
It should already be a fulltime occupation given all the disasters. Not to mention all those civil servants you listed, they're going to die and burn in Hell because they were doing their jobs, trying to save people from Acts of Zod.
I know this clip is only tangentially connected to what we're talking about but I'm linking y'all to it because it's awesome and because I'm picturing the civil servants as being like Dan Turpin from Superman: the Animated Series.
Anyway, that's the end of the letter. Afterwards, Melinda and Vicki talk. Melinda continues to show a healthy attitude: she doesn't want to convert just because she's scared. Vicki responds by saying "Zod's trying to get your attention." aka the same weaksauce argument used by every character in this series.
Melinda talks about how the horses gave her nightmares and Vicki says she was scared until she realized they couldn't harm her because they were protected by Zod. :grits teeth: Do I need to explain the wrong in that little sentence?
But for those hoping Melinda would escape with her healthier attitude towards Zod intact, I'm sorry to disappoint you but the chapter ends with her kneeling before Zod and saying The Prayer. :sigh: And I almost liked Melinda. Her attitude was so much healthier than that of the RTCs she's surrounded by who see God as their personal strongman.
Anyway, that's it for this week. I know, only one chapter, but I've done such a substantial post, so I'll leave you. Sorry for being mostly angry and bitter, not snarky and funny. Maybe next week will be better.