Sunday, January 15, 2012

It's Official: Our Hero is Taylor. I think it's time we accepted that

So the ROD has hit, killing millions of people around the world and displacing and injuring Zod-Only-Knows how many others but fear not: our brave heroes still have the all-important Internet connection so they can still hear the almighty words of the great Token Jew because Heaven forbid we let the heroes actually suffer. Bad things only happen to Hattie the Great Butt Monkey of Babylon and the nameless heathen damned off-screen, that's why the best-seller was titled "When Bad Things Happen to Bad People Who Deserve It." Readers looking for the cheap vicarious thrill that comes with martyrdom stories don't want to hear about the pain and suffering involved.

Sorry to go on and on about the same point, but it's my blog and I'll preach if I want to.

Also fear not. Token Jew and Mr. Stein are in no way concerned about trifling matters such as where their food and water are going to come from; like all good RTCs, they care only about their own salvation and their upcoming trip to Israel which will in no shape or form be hindered by petty concerns like a massive ROD wiping out a third of the ships and just about everything else with it.

Oh and Pete is being accused of killing two biker dudes (it was self-defended if you're wondering) and the YTF meet up with the Disguise guy if you're wondering. Sorry if I make it appear like more happened than it really did; it touched a nerve for some reason.

Next chapter, Taylor is currently in the lead when it comes to being the most awesome character. Why? Because he actually wants to do stuff to stop the GC rather than the TF's all-important sit-on-your-ass-and-wait-for-TurboJesus strategy. Granted he's only doing this because he wants revenge, an understandable motive, but Judd is all "You don't need revenge" but then Taylor gives an awesome response.

Taylor rolled his eyes. "I know, I need God. Well he's never done anything for me. If you guys want to play your Bible games and try to figure out what's happening next, fine."

Oh Taylor if only a horrible fate wasn't lying in wait for you. You could also point out that God caused all this so why the Hell are you serving him but I'll take what I can get.

Darrion too, tries to get him to bite the hook but once again, Taylor continues to be awesome, even resisting when his brother tries to convert him

"I saved my own neck," Taylor snapped. "I don't believe you people. If you want something done, you do it yourself. You don't sit around and wait for some god to do it for you."

The YTF just got served and it tastes like victory.

Again that's the TF and YTF strategy in a nutshell: sit on your ass and think of Zod. Oddly enough, when you try to apply that strategy in real-life the response is "Get a job, you worthless freeloader." Of course, if you're female and you have kids and you do work, you're one of those evil single mothers who's bringing down society so you can"t win either way.

The YTF finally meet up with Zeke Jr. who calls himself Z. He gives them makeovers and IDs collected from the dead, which is about the only smart thing anyone's done so far. In the process, the YTF find out that Lionel's commanding officer is dead along with the girl who accused Vicki of murder. Of course like good RTCs they just chuckle good-naturedly even though they're burning in Hell and will burn for all eternity.


Apocalypse Review said...

It's interesting how the book ALMOST admits that the "sit around and think of God" strategy is essentially the only one L&J can recommend for their followers, because they're locked into this idea of prophecy in the Book of Revelation being so immutable that nothing can be done about it.

As Harry Potter proves, prophecies are actually very strange things and often find unusual interpretations. For example (DH spoilers) Uneel naq Ibyqrzbeg fdhner bss gb qhry, ohg va rssrpg Ibyqrzbeg raqf hc pnfgvat gur phefr gung xvyyf uvzfrys, orpnhfr ur qbrfa'g "bja" gur jnaq ur'f hfvat.

That was not something the casual reader of the books could have even thought would fit the prophecy revealed in OotP, but it does indeed work. It is to JKR's credit that she shows Harry trying to defeat Voldemort as best he can - doing something about it instead of just saying, "okay, a prophecy will fix it for me!"

I just wish the YTF had an ounce of initiative like Taylor. They're not dumb kids; Judd's handy with credit cards ;) Vicki's probably fantastic with money management, Lionel's no slouch at tall tale telling (having seen his uncle do it a million times), etc etc etc.

The ability to do something illegal, tell a story that covers your ass about it, and fund that illegal thing is kind of important <_<

RubyTea said...

"The YTF finally meet up with Zeke Jr. who calls himself Z. He gives them makeovers and IDs collected from the dead, which is about the only smart thing anyone's done so far."

Okay, is this weird? As I was listening to the audiobooks of the original LB series, I came up with this idea wherein Zeke and Zeke Junior were, in actuality, moles for the Global Community. The plot took many twists and turns in my head, including Zeke Senior purposely getting caught and the GC faking his execution so the Trib Force would be forced to take in Zeke Junior, thus giving Junior unparalled access to Tsion ben Jewishguy.

Firedrake said...

I'm reminded of the beginning of The Salvation War: God's message to the world is more or less "it's all over, please die now, kthxbai" and most of the religious people do.

Then everyone else gets annoyed.