Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 or "Hooked on a Feeling"

 Let’s face it. Marvel was testing us with this movie. What do I mean? Well, let me explain through a fictitious dialogue which I totally assumed happened at some point. You can cast whoever you like as Marvel One and Marvel Two, Kevin Feige or whoever seems like the most likely candidates.

Marvel One: Okay, it seems like we’ve done it—we basically have a license to print money—but I think we should test this.

Marvel Two: What do you mean?

Marvel One: You know how we’ve so far adapted characters that the general public may have had a passing knowledge of? I say, “Fuck that!” Let’s adapt characters that no one, I repeat, no one will have heard of unless they’re hardcore comics fans.

Marvel Two: Sounds promising. In addition to what you’ve mentioned so far, how about we adapt a whole team, thus making it so we have to introduce several characters at the same time in one movie.

Marvel One: Great idea! And you know how we’ve mostly toned down the really out there, comic book elements of our series? I say, “Fuck that as well!” Let’s go way out of the bounds of realism. We’ll have two of our characters be a talking space raccoon and a giant tree. Fucking shoot realism in the face, man!

Marvel Two: Ooh…sounds like fun. Hey, have you decided who will play our hero, a dashing Han Solo-esque scoundrel?

Marvel One: Is the chubby guy from Parks and Rec taking our calls?

Marvel Two: Got ‘em on the line. Out of curiosity, do you think it’d be possible to have our characters save the day via a dance-off and the power of friendship?

This movie also forced me to accept a very painful truth: I am Bill Kristol when it comes to entertainment.

Who is Bill Kristol? Bill Kristol is a Very Serious Person who has the rare gift of always being constantly wrong on every major issue. No matter what he predicts, the opposite will occur. It’s almost comforting in a way what a screwup Bill Kristol is. Other pundits occasionally stumble into Stopped Clock moments, but not Bill. You find yourself wishing that all the idiotic pundits displayed that level of consistency. As an anonymous astute commenter on the Internet put it, “You could probably [have] a reasonably successful foreign policy by just seeing what Bill Kristol is advocating and doing something else.”

Why am I the Bill Kristol of entertainment? Because I too, manage to be that consistently wrong. When I heard about Truck Nuts, I was like, “Who would want to openly advertise the disappointment in their pants? This will never catch on.” When Justin Bieber had one of his songs listed for free on iTunes, I listened and thought, “Dude looks and sounds like he’s twelve. This will never catch on.” When I heard about Dancing with the Stars, I was like, “No one’s going to want to see a bunch of D-List celebrities dance.” 

And when I heard about this movie, my feeling was that it was going to be a sleeper: do all right business but not Blockbuster-level business. Because as already stated, it was about characters no one had heard of, and it was an August release. August has long been the month where Hollywood releases its bombs or its movies they consider too quirky or weird to gain an audience. And then Guardians proceeds to be the highest-grossing movie of 2014.

So yeah, I’ve accepted that I’m the Bill Kristol of entertainment. My only objection is unlike Bill Kristol, I haven’t managed to make a comfortable living despite always being wrong, and I’m mostly wrong about frivolous stuff but right about serious stuff, whereas Kristol is wrong about very serious issues. :pauses to sob for a few minutes:

For those of you who are feeling generous, I have a Ko-Fi. If you want to drop a few bucks in my cup, I can’t say I’d object. I also have a book.

For the record, if Marvel was testing us, trying to see how dedicated the fans are, I can’t judge them too harshly. If my fandom were as large and as rabid, like hell would I be able to resist it. I imagine it’s true of all the proprietors of large fandoms, that it’s hard to resist the effort to toy with your fanbase a little.

Though this film does serve a larger purpose in the plotting of the MCU.  Until this movie, the action had been mostly confined to Earth; we knew that there were aliens, but that was the extent of what we knew of the wider Marvel-verse. This movie expands the canvas on which the Marvel universe operates. It introduces the Kree, a race of aliens, who play a reoccurring role in the Marvel universe. And probably most importantly, it introduces Thanos and further explains the infinity stones, both of which are important players in future films. 

Have to say, Thanos, why did you ditch the gold armor? You looked so much cooler in it. But I may be breaking my rule about leaping ahead, so let’s move on.

I almost want to do a compare and contrast between this movie and The Eternals. Both movies introduce a large cast of characters in one movie, but one movie succeeds at this, while the other fails. But that would be in major violation of the rule. Plus, it’s still uncertain as to what part The Eternals will play in the MCU, whether Marvel will continue to develop its characters/plotlines or just treat it like a fresh cat turd and bury it deep. I might save this idea for later.

Rewatching this film, the thing that stood out to me, was just how pretty it is. This film is as much a space opera as it is a superhero film, and space operas are almost as much about spectacle as superhero films are. But while Marvel isn't as awashed in dull, colorless, gunmetal-grey aesthetic as the DCEU, it still favors something of a muted palette, probably as an attempt to ground the films. Guardians is bright, glorious, and beautiful. 

And just as with the previous film, this is another case of Marvel deciding to take a chance on a relatively inexperienced director. If you look over James Gunn's filmography until Guardians, he had mostly done indie comedic works, which makes him an interesting choice for your blockbuster superhero space opera. 

But you want me to shut up and talk about the movie. 

The film begins with a ten-year-old Peter Quill being abducted by aliens. The second film reveals the larger, sadder story behind the abduction, but to go into further detail, would violate my rule. I have violated that rule before and will do it again, but I feel I should put forth the effort to try to follow it. Suffice to say, I do hope that the third film remembers that Peter left behind family on Earth, family that has probably spent decades wondering what happened to him. 

After this heartbreaking intro, we meet an adult Quill played by the final Chris to appear in the MCU, Chris Pratt.* 

Those of you who have watched the linked clips have already noted another thing, which makes this movie stand out, aside from its palette: the soundtrack. The collection of 70s and 80s pop songs serve several purposes, by giving this film a memorable sound lacking in other Marvel films, but it also serves as a personal touch, a reminder of the life and the family Peter left behind on Earth. 

The movie sets up its MacGuffin early on in the orb Peter steals in the opening. It also cuts to the chase when it comes to getting our heroes together. And I have to commend how well it works, how it manages to sum up the characters and their motivations within a few minutes, while being a well-choreographed fight/chase. We learn that Rocket Raccoon is cynical and views everything mostly throw the lens of money, though not too cynical as demonstrated by his friendship with Groot. Groot is fundamentally a gentle soul, though is more than capable of throwing down when needed. And Gamora is a fierce warrior who generally doesn't believe in wasting time. And all of them are damn good at thinking on their feet. 

But unfortunately for all parties, the authorities catch them, and they're packed off to the pokey. 

It's at the prison they meet Drax the destroyer, and while they're initially antagonistic towards one another, Peter manages to broker a truce via one of the biggest motivators: money. 

Basically, the mysterious orb he found at the beginning of the film is worth a whole lot of money, so if they work together and bust out of prison, the idea is that they can turn it in and collect a solid payday, before going their separate ways. 

So here's another way this film stands out: basically, all of its heroes are Han Solo from Star Wars. 

Not going to deny: my first childhood crushes were either on Han Solo or Tommy from Power Rangers. I believe in being upfront about these things. 

Of course, the Star Wars franchise has become so ingrained in the wider popular culture probably to the point where even the people on North Sentinel Island know Darth Vader is Luke's father, that we forget some of the reasons why it works so well. 

A New Hope has a sense of fun that none of the subsequent films do, mostly because George Lucas is pretty much winging it when it comes to creating a mythos. Lucas hasn't settled on what exactly the Clone Wars the Leia hologram speaks of yet, and generally, is more interested in capturing the gee-whiz wonder of the sci-fi serials he enjoyed. Don't get me wrong--I generally like most of the Star Wars films--but A New Hope has a different tone from its followers. 

Luke Skywalker is, of course, the titular heroic figure, but Han Solo attracts our attention pretty quick, because while Luke is the straightforward hero, Han is much more morally grey. After all, he had no interest in being part of a rebellion or anything like that; he took a job so he could pay off the gangster he was in debt to, only for the job to turn out to be much more complicated than he thought. So yeah, he's motivated by money and isn't too shy about admitting it. Harrison Ford's charisma and bravado serve as a large reason why Han doesn't come across as completely unlikeable.

The same is true of our protagonists in this film. Despite their more mercenary motivations, their wit and charisma make us like and root for them. Plus, money can be an easier motive for the audience to envision, far more than abstract ones like "Save the world." In fact, writing tip, when telling a story, it helps to give our heroes a more personal cause, because “saving the world” is, like I said, so big and abstract as to be hard to envision. A good example of this is The Hunger Games where initially Katniss is not interested in joining a rebellion; her primary motivations are to protect the people she cares about. She does eventually become more interested in a rebellion as the series wears on, but initially her motives are personal ones.

Naturally, what makes our heroes, well, heroes is that when it becomes apparent that larger issues are at work, they step up. 

Though Guardians has a rather nice exchange regarding the whole “saving the world” bit.

Rocket Raccoon: What did the galaxy ever do for you? Why would you want to save it?

Peter Quill: Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!

So the climax is Our heroes need to recover the stone of power from the villain, Ronan the Accuser, so he doesn’t use it to wipe out entire civilizations and set himself up as a god. This culminates in the day being saved via dance-off/power of friendship.

And now I suppose it’s time to talk about where the villain ranks in terms of the MCU. 

Credit where credit is due, Ronan isn’t just an old guy in a business suit. Ronan is a Kree warrior in service to Thanos and initially, he was hired to retrieve the stone on his behalf. Of course, once Ronan got his hands on an artifact of almost unfathomable power, he’s like “I could go return it or I could say, ‘Nah!’ and use my newfound powers to do some good ol’ fashioned conquering and set myself as a god in my own name,” which makes sense. The kind of amoral villain that you could hire to steal a very powerful artifact, generally isn’t the kind of person willing to share. Plus I hate Thanos** so I can’t help but respect someone willing to stab him in the back.

But I really don’t remember much about Ronan aside from his issues with eye makeup, and the WTF?! reaction he has to Peter doing a dance-off. I think I’ll give him a two on the villain scale.

And that’s Guardians of the Galaxy for you. Looking at the landscape of superhero films before and after this one, shows how truly innovative it is. Guardians walked so movies like Birds of Prey and The Suicide Squad could run.

Next on the slate is Avengers: Age of Ultron. See you until then.

*He’s also currently the least cool of the four Chrises but let’s not get into that.

**Do I have a myriad of “Thanos is full of shit” rants at the ready? You better believe I do, but I’ll save them for later.