Saturday, November 16, 2013

R.I.P. Nicky [Insert Mountain Range of Choice here]

Hello and happy Saturday!

Nothing much really happens in the first section. Judd hides out in Kasim's apartment and watches Chaim Rosenzweig playfully roll his wheelchair across the stage. I'm serious: that's all that happens.

Meanwhile Lionel and Sam are looking for Mr. Stein. They dig Kasim's body out of the rubble and again, that's seriously all that happens. These sections keep getting shorter and shorter and less stuff happens.

Vicki bravely continues to bravely watch TV. Nicky Hoel comes on and makes bland pleasantries but says nothing about the event, y'know the one where Zod managed to witness to people without killing them horribly. I'm disappointed: I was looking forward to the BS Ellanjay would try to put in Nicky's mouth to explain all this. I think I have a touch of the Stockholm Syndrome thanks to this series.

So Nicky introduces Chaim and makes a bland speech. During this speech, three of the seven other potentates (can't think that word without giggling because it's so stupid) sit down and Nicky woodenly says, "Do not do this to me." Word of advice to any writers out there: the old "Foreigners don't use contractions" thing doesn't work, especially when you're writing about a polyglot like Nicky. Contractions aren't that hard to master and having your characters not use them only makes me picture them as Brent Spiner.

An explosion rocks the stage. In the confusion, Chaim drives a sword into Nicky's head. I'm going to guess the head wound is "Because Prophecy, that's why!" But I can't help but wonder if that's really an effective use of a sword. Would a sword really be able to go through someone's skull like that? But anyway, Nicky's dead though I know, he isn't really; according to the prophecy, he becomes Satan.

Judd makes his way back to General Jew's house and meets up with Kasim and Nada's parents.

Next chapter, Z-Van is still laid up at General Jew's house with casts all over him. He asks to see Judd and that's when we cut to Vicki.

Vicki and the others are discussing Token Jew's interpretation, about how right about everything he was, and about how Nicky's going to be possessed by Satan soon.

Judd talks with Z-Van, who plans on laying low and letting everyone think he's dead, only to show up again later, in hopes of boosting sales. He mentions Paul McCartney, which only goes to show just how out of touch Ellanjay are. Their audience probably thinks of Paul McCartney as "member of one of those dinosaur bands my parents listen to."

Z-Van then calls an associate and manages to get a plane, so he and Judd can get out of there.

Mr. Stein shows up and makes several headbangingly stupid statements.

Mr. Stein prayed, then said, “I believe we are in grave danger. If any of you wish to leave, now is the time.”
“Why are we in danger?” a man in a long robe said.
“With the death of Nicolae Carpathia, the Global Community will have every reason to go after their enemies. I believe they will come after followers of Tsion Ben-Judah. It could mean imprisonment or perhaps our lives.”

Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the GC already been going after followers of Token Jew? I'm fairly certain I've read about people getting imprisoned and whatnot. This feels like Revenge of the Sith where we're supposed to be shocked at how evil Anakin has become when he's still acting like the same child-murdering, whiny asshole he'd been in the previous movie.

Then they hear an announcement. Apparently St. Rayford has been accused of murdering Nicky. Judd is shocked, shocked that Rayford is being charged with a crime even though Rayford did take a shot at him.

The chapter ends with Judd noticing that Chaim's house is on fire and that's where my snark will end. I know it's a short snark, but the next chapter looked promising and I didn't want to stretch this snark out too long.

1 comment:

Firedrake said...

In a multi-protagonist thriller, I suppose one might use shorter and shorter scenes as things move towards the climax. But generally there's something exciting happening in them...

A sufficiently heavy sword can cleave (or shatter) someone's skull with a cut, but it's very rare that it would penetrate with a thrust.

Actually quite a few people who were kids in the 1990s and 2000s started liking the Beatles (particularly the early Beatles) and other sixties stuff, once they weren't having them blasted out at them all the time.