Sunday, August 7, 2011

A Three-Piece Snark or Oh God I'm so Bored

So there's really not much happening. The Stahleys return again and start making plans, Taylor Graham still has Judd and I'm bored to death. YAWN. MEGO

Vicki and Chaya go to the funeral of Chaya's mother and I'm surprised Chaya manages to avoid grabbing the mike and a preaching a sermon to these heathen Jews that are her relatives. She shows admirable restraint given that she's a character in an Ellanjay novel. I'm still shocked that they didn't have her relatives say, "You want that your mother should roll over in her grave," given their stereotypical view of Jews. Anyway, she reads a little scripture from Paul and that's the extent of her preaching.

Anyway next chapter, they discuss grief and it'd be nice if they showed grief instead of just talking about it. Oh and they have a brief conversation about Verna. Apparently she attended Bruce's funeral and when asked about what St. Rayford preached, she said this:

"She said it was strange, all those predictions coming true," Chloe said. "When I asked her what it would take to convince her about God, she said an earthquake would be pretty hard to argue with."

Actually an earthquake would be fairly easy to argue with. An eeevil atheist like Verna would just chalk it up to plate techtonics when RTCs know that plate techtonics is just a theory and earthquakes are really caused by Zod.

What happens next is a gunman shows up in Ryan and Lionel's room and you wouldn't think a gunman threatening to shoot some kids would be so boring but it really, really is. I'm starting to regret I posted Nostalgia Critic's Boring Song on a previous post and can't use it now.

Next Judd manages to find a supersecret panel in the garage which leads to a safe. It would all be so interesting if I gave a shit.

Chapter 26, we finally find out what the eeevil Mrs. Jenness has planned for Lionel. Is it the rack? Mere child's play. The Iron Maiden? Pfff...that pales in comparison to the true horror she has planned out for him: she's found a friend of his mother's willing to take him in. DUN-DUN-DUN!

Y'see being an eeevil atheist she has the gall to be concerned that Lionel is living with little to no supervision than that of Judd and Vicki so she actually tracked down one of his mother's friends from down south who actually seems like a nice guy who would make a good father to Lionel. But Lionel isn't pleased.

They also start discussing the whole Mark of the Beast thing. And taking what little cash they have left and converting it to gold though I really don't see what good that will do. Once the economic system has collapsed, gold will pretty much be as worthless as any other form of currency. What they should be doing is stockpiling bottled water and canned goods.

Well, I'm in a hurry to wrap up this son-of-a-gun so let's go. Mrs. Stahley is arrested by the NWO for the murder of her husband and Lionel goes with his mother's friend. And that's it for this week.


The Old Maid said...

Let's see: someone is finding an orphan a home, and that's considered bad. Meanwhile, two characters are fussing about secret safes and gold as money. Don't they teach kids the tale of King Midas anymore?

Ivan said...

Do the characters really say this new arrangement is bad, or merely inconvenient from their standing? Do they actually denounce the woman arranging it?

And a worldwide earthquake is pretty convincing I'd say, not a normal one though. Though doesn't Verna get killed in the earthquake. In that case, thanks a fucking bundle L&J. One smart, likeable atheist in your plot who uses the oh-so precise predictions and you kill her off just before she can just see her proof. Way to go.

Firedrake said...

"Grief is an emotion that non-RTCs suffer from. In order to pass as EBOWFers, you will need to learn to simulate it. Imagine how you would feel if people did not show you the respect due to your station..."

Yeah, gold is one of those things that's mostly a matter of tradition at this point. In the real world, sure, because the survival conditions don't apply everywhere or forever; but here we have the RTCs who know that it's all going to fall apart after seven years anyway, and all the other people who (at first) think the One World Currency is here to stay and then (later) think that they don't care about gold so much as about not dying.

Before the New Economic Order falls apart you might as well trade your gold for something useful, I guess...

aunursa said...

Of course an earthquake is pointless to those who are killed and thus unable to realize that it's a divine sign until it's too late.

A better and more definitive sign would be, for example, a message from an audible voice heard by each person in the world in their own language. In fact that does happen at various points later in the series. However, being as this is the world of LB, it does not convince all of the world's population.

Ruby said...

Where do they get this idea to hoard gold? Are they just doing it because "that's what people do," or did they think to ask Rayford or Bruce or even (gasp!) Chloe (who will be in charge of the international co-op) about what they should be doing to prepare?

Mouse! I ordered The Kids books-on-CD from my library for a car trip! :D

Ruby said...

@aunursa--Pretty good argument against the L&J's god against either his omnipotence or his all-lovingness, isn't it? As an all-knowing being, RTC-God knows exactly what would convince each and every person on the planet that his way is the only way. Yet he doesn't see fit to give them what they need. So he either doesn't know, or doesn't care to save them.

Ruby said...

Ugh, please ignore the bad phrasing above. Typing too quickly with a headache.

aunursa said...

From Book #5:

Chaim: "[N]ot even I can deny [that God] is at work today. It is too plain. But I have to say I don't understand your God. He seems mean- spirited to me. Why can he not get people's attention through wonderful miracles, as he did in the Bible? Why make things worse and worse until a person has no choice? I find myself resisting being forced into this by the very one who wants my devotion. I want to come willingly, on my own accord, if at all.”


Mouse said...

Again, aunursa, it's always the skeptics in this world who end up making the most sense. Ellanjay can't even set up a decent strawman. I would like to know how the other characters respond to Chaim.

aunursa said...

Buck: God gave you all these blessings [lists blessings], but still you resist. God doesn't want anyone to perish, so He sent these judgments that will drive the undecided to him or away from him. We RTCs are praying that you choose the former.

Chaim: Buck, my friend, you are not making any sense. If God doesn't want anyone to perish, why does He send judgments that will drive many to eternal doom?

[No, actually, that's NOT Chaim's response. (I had you fooled, didn't I?) Rather, Chaim says...]

Chaim: Buck, my friend, your prayers mean more than I can ... WHAT IS THAT NOISE?

[At this point the conversation is interrupted as Chaim and the GIRAT's attentions are drawn to the appearance of the demon locusts.]

Ivan said...

Well, sounds like Chaim really is the most likable character in Left Behind.

And does Buck really not see a problem with 'blessings' that do not sound the least bit supernatural, or at least not clearly identifiable with Christianity instead of Judaism, but only bringing out the supernatural big guns when it's time to get-a-murdering.

Ruby said...

Ivan--Chaim is very likeable...right up until the moment he converts.

hidden_urchin said...

"God doesn't want anyone to perish, so He sent these judgments that will drive the undecided to him or away from him."

Do RTCs really not see how this makes God an abusive individual?

Firedrake said...

hidden_urchin, the alternative explanation is that RTC-God is just following someone else's rules - while still pretending to be in charge, of course, as bouncers usually do. "No shoes, no accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and saviour, no service."

Ivan said...

Firedrake, that's also the only way I can make sense of... well, any form of Christianity that includes hell really. Deciding that every last human is unworthy of heaven without Jesus' loophole, which invariably means chucking them into the lake of fire, only allows for a good God if we're dealing with a polytheistic reality. If the God that judges people unworthy of heaven isn't the same one that made those humans that way (as I argued before, free will doesn't hold water if not a single person is righteous, and God is the one who made that curious tree of knowledge that somehow blights you and every decendant ever with sin, so he doesn't get a pass on this) or the one that didn't bother to create any other afterlife except 'paradise that no-one is worthy of' and 'eternal torment'.

I love Good Omens. There the angel and demon actually ask these questions, and they both realize that God must have planned it all along, not as a test for the humans, but for his angels too. If I'd got one wish... I'd ask for world peace and a happy and rich life filled with joy and love , but if I got a another wish, it'd be making sure Jenkins and LaHaye got the audiobook of Good Omens stuck in their head for a few months.