I don't know if any of y'all are Nostalgia Critic fans but I had to post a link to his Boring Song because this book is so damn boring. It has less action than a nursing home. I'm dead serious here; never have I so longed for the screwed up sexual politics of the grown-up books: at least it would give me something to talk about, but I'll try to do what I can.
Anyway, Lionel apparently is the only one concerned about Ryan so he goes after him and we do get this brief acknowledgement regarding the fate of Ryan's parents.
"How do you know how I feel?" Ryan blurted. "Your family's in heaven. For all I know, my parents aren't just dead, they're in hell."
Which is where they'll be for all eternity, suffering without end because God can't apply the brakes. I know I say that a lot but some things need to be repeated again and again lest we forget.
I keep thinking about how my favourite heroes would handle this. Batman and Superman would respond by calling up the league and the various other god-like beings they have on their rolodex, and together they would mount a massive war against the heavens. In fact, that's about the only sane course of action for anyone in response to such events. And again, I am still accepting fanfiction if anyone wants to write it.
Basically what happens in this chapter is Ryan and Lionel set up a tent in Ryan's backyard because Ryan can't bear to sleep inside his own house, the police tell Lionel that his uncle is dead, and I'm bored to death with the whole thing. Let's see if the next chapter's any better.
9 pages of Judd and Vicki trying to move Judd's car out of the parking garage?! 9 pages devoted to Ellanjay's hard-on for transportation! 9 perfectly innocent pieces of paper that could have been used for so much better purposes such as wrapping marijuana cigarettes or writing hare-brained manifestos or something!
That's it. For now, I give up. Maybe next week I'll have renewed my strength enough to give these books the snarking they deserve, but right now, it's just so boring.