Man's Willful Indifference to His Fellow Man

First of all, before I get going, I have to complain yet again about how these books are formatted. Why do they have a few paragraphs with Vicki then a few with Judd then back to Vicki? Why not just do one chapter with Vicki, then the next one with Judd, and so forth? Do they think kids' attention spans are really that short that they can't keep track of who's doing what from chapter to chapter?

Also, am I the only one wondering if Lionel got the Chuck Cunningham treatment? Because we haven't seen hide nor hair of him in ages and I'm wondering if Ellanjay or the ghostwriter just flat-out forgot about him. Not that I'm a huge fan of his character, but it's a telltale sign of bad writing when the writer can't keep track of one of the main characters in their book.

The chapter begins with Vicki, Darrion, Mark, and Shelly getting together and talking about Nicky's speech. Naturally, they're offended by it, but we don't dwell on this long as they receive a phone call from Conrad telling him that Melinda is nowhere to be found, which forces them to conclude that she disobeyed them and came to the school.

Next section has Judd bravely watching television. Lionel makes a brief appearance at the beginning as he and Sam are talking about the new schools, but the bulk of this section is devoted to Judd watching television. Naturally, Nicky makes an appearance and gives this speech:

There is probably no one more dangerous on the face of the planet as this religious zealot, Tsion Ben-Judah. The man tried to kill me before thousands of witnesses at Teddy Kollek Stadium in Jerusalem more than a year ago. He is in league with the two old radicals who spit their hatred from the Wailing Wall and boast that they have poisoned the drinking water. Is it so much of a stretch to believe that this cult would wage germ warfare on the rest of the world? They themselves clearly have developed some antidote, because you do not hear of one of them falling victim. Rather, they have invented a myth no thinking man or woman can be expected to swallow. They would have us believe that our loved ones and friends are being killed by roving bands of giant horsemen riding half horses/half lions, which breathe fire like dragons. Of course, the believers, the saints, can see these monstrous beasts.

Have to give Nicky props for finally showing some basic villain cred in blaming a hated minority. Yes, we could quibble as to whether or not RTC-ianity really qualifies as a hated minority but in this universe they do, so give Nicky props for choosing to focus everyone's hatred on the RTCs. Just as I want to throw a parade everytime the RTC characters demonstrate basic decency, I also wanna do the same whenever the villains demonstrate basic villainy.

So Vicki goes looking for Melinda only to run into a morale monitor. The morale monitor asks what she's doing and Vicki b.s.es about wanting to find her friend so she doesn't miss Nicky's speech. But when she is asked Melinda's name, Vicki blanks (she knows Melinda wouldn't use her real name but doesn't know her alias). She takes of running and the Morale Monitors come after her.

Meanwhile, Mark is in the arena looking for Melinda when a guy named Dr. Neal Damosa comes up to give a speech. I have no idea if this character appears in the adult books but props for giving a villainous character a decent name. But anyway, Mark and the other RTCs get a taste of the horrible persecution that awaits them when Damosa calls an RTC by name, questions him, then has him arrested. The section ends with Melinda being pulled onstage.

Vicki rushes into the auditorium and sees Melinda on stage. Apparently, the morale monitors had set up a booth and offered free materials from Token Jew; when Melinda stopped to take a look, they arrested her. Frankly I'm not sure how I feel about this villainous scheme. It's better than very evilly allowing their enemies to gather at the Teddy Kollek stadium in Israel and very evilly broadcasting their evil message worldwide so millions can convert, but not by much.

The chapter ends with Judd and the others in Israel seeing the 200 million horsemen ready to attack. Me, I'm just wondering if these are the same horsemen as the lion-headed snake-tailed flying people killers as earlier.

Vicki is trying to think of how to save Melinda when she is recognized. She takes off running, gets caught, and falls down. That's seriously all that happens.

Meanwhile, Judd watches the 200 million kill people with a dispassionate eye, not even bothering to shed tears or try to revive them or anything. Again, when the anti-Christ is the most sympathetic character in what is essentially Christian fanfiction, you've failed miserably.

Vicki scrambles to her feet and tries to run away, but the GC is hot on her trail. Luckily Mark shows up and manages to distract them with a "She went thataway!" bit causing me to headdesk. I think the thugs in a Bugs Bunny cartoon would be smart enough not to fall for that.

Vicki runs and hides in the bathroom only to be saved by an RTC named Natalie, who is working as a morale monitor. They meet up with Melinda who is handcuffed next to a dead morale monitor. Now you'd think being stuck next to a dead person would be somewhat traumatizing, but Melinda isn't the least bit shakened by the experience.

Even though, I'm grinding my teeth at the sheer inhumanity these characters are demonstrating, I will give them one thing: Mark does scream, "We have to help them!" when the plaza explodes. It's such a small thing to celebrate but given how inhumane eveyone is in the Ellanjay-verse, I have to celebrate whatever I can.

Vicki and the others try to help as many of the others trapped inside as they can, but eventually they have to leave, but horrors of horrors! They've got a flat! But Mark has an idea and that's where the second chapter end and I think I'll end my snark there. I know this is kind of a short one, but there's a lot going on in the next few chapters and I don't want this snark to be too long.

Back to School

Okay so as said before in last week's post, Hattie and Kasim have something in common: they both want to kill Nicky. Of course, this is a violation of the Tribbles ethos, which is to do nothing and they have a discussion in which they admit as much. Well, okay, they point out that Nicky would come back from the grave, bigger and badder than before, but even so, you'd think the Tribbles could do something to alleviate the massive amount of suffering, like say, feed the hungry or shelter the homeless, but apparently even that is a violation of Zod's great plan because you never see them doing even that.

Sam apparently hasn't fully sipped the RTC flavor-aid and manages to ask some pointed questions about their theology. Unfortunately, he's satisfied with their weaksauce answers.

Here's a sampling:

“Why does God even allow somebody like Carpathia to live?” Sam said. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“God’s plan has been in place since the beginning of time,” Mr. Stein said. “Satan and his evil angels and all who follow them are merely part of God’s divine design. Satan is God’s devil, and he only gets away with what God allows him to.”

So okay, God created Satan and Satan is only doing what God told him to do, which is be evil and unleash massive amounts of suffering, doesn't that make God, I don't know, somewhat evil himself?

Again, at least with the Elder Gods, Lovecraft had the good sense to know that while the Elder Gods may be fearsome and powerful, they sure as hell couldn't qualify as good. Lovecraft may have been an all-around bigot but at least he had that much sense.

“But if God knew all this bad stuff was going to happen …” Sam paused and looked at Mr. Stein. His lip quivered. “God knew my dad wouldn’t respond to the message, but he made him anyway. I don’t understand.”
Mr. Stein put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “And neither do I. How can we understand someone whose wisdom and knowledge are so far above our own? But I do know this. If your father had never existed, neither would you. And you would not have had the opportunity to follow Christ.”

I keep trying to create a coherent response to this but all I can do is vomit with rage. Just that if Sam never existed, it wouldn't matter one way or another; he wouldn't care because he wouldn't exist to care.

So they start discussing who will kill Nicky.

“I would think the person who kills Nicolae will be filled with anger,” Mr. Stein said. “He will no doubt be desperate, willing to sacrifice his life for something he feels is right.”
“Will the person be insane?” Lionel said. “Perhaps,” Mr. Stein said. “But he may believe it to be the most sane thing he’s ever done in his life. He will be desperate but cunning. To get close enough to the potentate to inflict this kind of wound will be an impressive accomplishment.”

So I'm confused...doesn't St. Rayford participate in the attempted assassination? So apparently the "doing nothing" ethos is lifted only for that one moment and only because it won't do anybody any good. aunursa, you wanna help me make sense of this again? Sorry to keep calling on you, but sometimes the illogic renders my capacity moot.

Meanwhile on Vicki's end, she's babysitting Tolan, which leads to her thinking of the kids she used to look after around the trailer park, which leads to the admission that most of them died in the plagues and are quite possibly suffering in a hell for all eternity without end.

There's a fairly realistic albeit boring conversation in there about boys, which I won't get into, even though it's a rare moment when the narrative gas eases off and let's its protags be teenage girls for awhile.

Anyway that moment ends pretty quickly as they begin looking over a pamphlet about Nicky's new schools.

The world we see today is very different from the one we knew a few years ago. People of all ages are looking for answers. For young people, this is a stressful time. You’ve lost family and friends. You want to know what will happen in the future. That’s why Potentate Nicolae Carpathia and the leaders in education around the world have teamed to bring you Global Community Satellite Schools. You don’t need math and science right now. You don’t need tests in English composition. You need to know how to survive. Potentate Carpathia wants every young person to fulfill his or her destiny. He says, “If you want to make a difference for the good of humankind, attend the opening session of the new satellite school in your area. You are the future of the Global Community. We need you.”

Okay, I'll give Ellanjay credit: it sounds like Nicky is more interested in creating an army of child soldiers than in schooling the next generation. I'll give them credit: that actually makes sense seeing as Nicky knows there isn't going to be a future so he'll concentrate on winning as many to his side as he can.

So they discuss who's going to go to the new schools. Vicki and Darrion have their fake IDs ready, Conrad isn't going (he felt it'd be too risky seeing as he's a former morale monitor). Janie, aka Godless Heathen, walks in and announces she wants to go, saying she'll go in disguise like the rest of them, and we get this very callous moment from our brave Christian heroes.

When Janie left, Mark said, “Maybe Janie going would be the best thing. The GC would catch her, and she becomes their problem.”
“I’ve been praying for that girl ever since I became a believer,” Lenore said. “I’d hate to see anything happen to her.”
“How long do you keep praying for somebody?” Vicki said.
The room fell silent. Vicki wondered if there was any chance that Janie would ever believe.

Next chapter, Judd and Kasim talk about Nada. Apparently Kasim is pissed at Judd believing that if Judd had only loved Nada as much as she had loved him then Nada would still be alive. Not entirely sure how this works, but it does make my little black heart cackle with glee whenever the YTF are chewed out. But Kasim is still going to go through with his plan to assassinate Nicky and begs Judd to keep quiet about it and that's where that section ends.

So Vicki is in line to get into the GC school when she runs into Marjorie Amherst aka the girl who creamed herself fainted at Judd's graduation ceremony.

Vicki goes into the auditorium where they run a videotape of Nicky welcoming them to the school. I would snark it but there's really nothing to snark. It's like all of his speeches: filled with bland pleasantries. We're supposed to find it either inspiring or chilling but it succeeds at neither.

I'm afraid I'm going to leave you there. Yeah, the second chapter snarked was kind of short, but I read ahead and there's a long one coming up, so this will have to tide you over until then.

RTC=Sociopath

Hello and happy Saturday! Now before we begin, I'm going to promise to be a little less angry and bitter. I can't make any guarantees but I'll try.

Judd has been keeping to himself, trying to work through Nada's death, when we hear about Mac McCullum, aka a character from the adult books whose had maybe one onscreen appearance and therefore shouldn't be easy for readers to recall, has apparently saved Leon Fortunado's life from assassins. The characters are like "Why would Mac do that?" and the section ends there. I'm serious; that's all that happens.

Meanwhile, at the school, Melinda, filled with newfound love for Big Brother zeal for God, is trying to convert Janie. Janie, however, still refuses to take the bait, responding to their usual weaksauce "Zod's trying to get your attention" argument by saying:

Janie held up a hand. “Give it a rest. Haven’t you seen all the people dying around the world? You think a loving God would allow that?”
“He’s trying to get your attention,” Melinda said.
“No. He’s not there or he’d do something about all this. The only person you can trust right now is Nicolae Carpathia.”

I know Janie's argument is almost as weaksauce as the RTCs, due in large part to the fact that Ellanjay can't possibly envision someone disagreeing with them who isn't Adolf Q. Stalin-Pot, but still gotta side with Janie here. When compared with Zod, Nicky Chersky seems like a piker. I mean, the worst Nicky could do was nuke nine cities. Zod, on the other hand, smashed the earth repeatedly, froze it, poisoned the water, and unleashed the lion-headed snake-tailed flying people killers. Clearly if we're weighing out villain-cred, Zod wins.

Suddenly the RTCs see the lion-headed snake-tailed flying people killers and know they have to get Janie downstairs. Why would getting her downstairs protect her? I would say it's the same logic from Indiana Jones (shutting your eyes will totally avoid the wrath of God), but at least Indiana Jones had some awesome stunts to go with its illogic. Left Behind has none of it.

Janie starts coughing and choking on the sulphur but Vicki takes this moment to demonstrate the Demonbuster logic that runs this series, manages to call them off by calling on the one who sent them, aka Zod for those of you who haven't been paying attention.

Vicki mustered her courage and spoke. “Leave this place now! In the name of Jesus Christ, the almighty God, I command you to leave.”
The horseman’s face was dark, like a bottomless pit. He turned and looked at Vicki, and she saw the monstrous, evil face with sharp teeth and a look that defied description. Vicki turned away and closed her eyes. Father, I ask you to send these things away. If they stay, there’s no way Janie will ever become a believer. Please, have mercy on her and make these things leave.

Yeah, if Vicki can make them go just by telling Zod to back off, then why didn't the other RTCs try this? Sam could have tried it to save his father, but then again RTC-ianity and sociopathy seem to go hand in hand.

But anyway, it turns out the GC are going to go through with their plans to reopen schools and that's the end of that section.

Meanwhile, Sam is actually thinking about an unbeliever who, as far as we know, died an unbeliever, aka his father. Naturally he doesn't make the connection that dear ol' dad is roasting on a spit for being a faithful Jew, but I'm desperate for what few crumbs I can take from this series.

Judd consoles Sam by saying this:

“God wants people to know him, but he gives us a choice. You and I chose to accept God’s gift. Your dad rejected it.”
“I picture my father suffering now. I wish I could take his place.”
Judd knelt by Sam. “This is going to hurt for a long time, but you’re not responsible for your dad’s choice. The only person God holds you responsible for is you. You can pray and plead with others, but it’s their decision.”

Do I need to reiterate that sociopathy and RTC-ianity go hand in hand? Didn't think so.

They watch the news ceremony honouring Mac and another adult character I don't care about, Abdullah Smith. The chapter ends with the announcement of Hattie's death, but since I've read the next chapter, I know that Hattie isn't really dead so I'm bored to tears. Next chapter, please.

Judd talks with Mac who tells us that Hattie is alive, but they're trying to find and stop her from killing Nicky. That's because she's actually doing something which goes against the whole Tribbles ethos which says that the only thing to do in an apocalypse is nothing. :sigh: Need I reiterate how much I miss Taylor and Hasina?

Mac talks about foiling the assassination attempt on Leon and honestly, I understand why so many of my fellow snarkers side with Leon; he's too pathetic to be taken seriously as a great threat to the world at large. He and Mallory from the Babysitters Club have too much in common. Sorry for making a reference no one will get, but I read the Babysitters Club books as a kid and have recently visited a lot of snark sites, so it's in my head.

Naturally, Judd is more concerned with travel logistics than anything else and asks Mac about flights back to the US.

“Travel is still difficult with the plague. There’s no telling how long that will last. The GC estimates about 10 percent of the population has died since the start of the smoke and fire and sulfur. That means about three times that will eventually die. If you can find a commercial flight, take it.”

Meanwhile, Vicki and the other kids decide who's going to attend the GC schools even though there's no reason for these schools because there's no future and Nicky Chittagong knows it. Then she receives an email from the pastor they met in Arizona. Apparently Jeff, aka Our Buck's brother, became a believer so we can cancel that candlelight vigil we had planned.

In Israel, Mr. Stein has received another vision, this one telling them to preach in the streets. One of the characters points out that that's what the Gruesome Twosome are already doing, but Mr. Stein says that God told him something would happen during their preaching that would cause many to turn to him. Judd is mulling over this when he runs into Kasim. Apparently he and Jamal haven't completely sipped the Tribbles brand of flavor-aid because like Hattie, they wanna do something. Kasim's got a gun and is planning on taking out Nicky. The chapter ends with that bombshell.

Rage Level: Critical

Hello and happy Saturday fellow dirty sinners!

As stated last week, this week what awaits us is a long missive from Token Jew and I almost want to do another poll asking who's more irritating, Bruce "Useless" Barnes or Token Jew? I'm not sure I can decide though Bruce was on stage more unlike Token Jew who we mostly hear about through missives on his website. But Token Jew does also manage to be an insult to the Jewish people, so that alone might give him the edge in the Annoying-Off. I'll let my readers decided, though.

But anyway, let's get down to business.

“The deadly demon locusts prophesied in Revelation 9 finally died out after torturing millions. Many who were bitten at the end of that plague have recovered only three months ago.
“While many gave their lives to God after seeing this horrible judgment, most have become even more set in their ways. It should have been obvious to the leader of the Enigma Babylon One World Faith that followers of that religion suffered everywhere in the world. But we followers of Christ, the so-called rebels—enemies of tolerance— were spared.”

Darrion shook her head. “Makes you wonder why anyone wouldn’t believe the truth about God.”

So apparently it should be obvious that Zod beats us but we deserve it and we should be on our knees apologizing to Mister Zod* for making him that angry in the first place...is it any wonder that the religion preaching peace is still more popular? What's the point in worshipping Zod when he can just overturn your life and screw with you for no reason? At least if you worship Lovecraft's Elder Gods you get eaten first.

“It is helpful to know this current plague was created by the releasing of four angels bound in the Euphrates River. We know that these are fallen angels, because nowhere in Scripture do we ever see good angels bound. These were apparently bound because they wanted to create chaos on earth. Now they are free to do so. In fact, the Bible reveals they were prepared for a specific hour, day, month, and year.”

Melinda raised a hand. “I don’t get it. I thought angels were good.”
“They were all created by God to follow him,” Vicki said. “But a third of the angels followed Satan and became demons. Angels only got one chance to choose.”

Okay I'm seriously going "What?!" here. Just where in the bible does it say any of this. Though I do know that all that stuff Vicki's saying is the Bible according to John Milton or in other words, it's not actually in the Bible.

So Mark is inspired to write a series of numbers on the blackboard. He then explains them.

“Right. Tsion told us the horses and riders will kill a third of the population alive right now.” He pointed to the R. “After the Rapture came a great war, an earthquake, and meteors. All of that killed 25 percent of the people alive after the disappearances. That left 75 percent of the people who weren’t taken away by God. Follow closely. One-third of 75 percent is 25 percent, so the current wave of death will leave only 50 percent of the people left behind at the Rapture.”

Right...so how again is it that the earth still has a population? Let's try to work this out. Will start with 7 billion humans at time of Rapture. Let's see I suppose we can humour Ellanjay's delusions and assume that RTCs are indeed a persecuted minority but still remember EVERY FUCKING CHILD ON THE FUCKING PLANET WAS SLAUGHTEREDRAPTURED TOO! [/ALL-CAPS] Sorry for the all-caps and excessive profanity but it's amazing how Ellanjay forget to include that little fact when they do these little calculations. So I'll give 5 billion humans post-Rapture, one billion for the RTCs and one billion children. Then we have all the judgments including ALL the water turning to poison and since I'm very bad at math, I'm not going to try to do the calculations, but I am going to ask a question I've asked repeatedly: how is it that Earth still has a population given that one of these disasters would be enough to finish Earth off, let alone all of them back to back?

Once again, I point you to Threads in order to clear the bad taste of Ellanjay's illogic out of your mouth.

“This next section is a little difficult,” Mark continued. “Tsion thinks God wants people to come to him, but this latest judgment might be preparation for the final battle between good and evil. He’s weeding out the people who won’t accept him.”

Wait, what now? I thought the whole point of these disasters was Zod was trying to reach out to the heathens and convert them. Granted he was trying to convert by killing them which really isn't a smart business plan, but wasn't that his whole plan. Now they're saying he's just killing off the unbelievers, which makes me wonder what's the point? If he hates unbelievers so badly, why not just send TurboJesus in now and let him kill Nicky already? aunursa, you wanna help me out? My brain hurts just trying to work out this illogic.

But Token Jew does try to make one concession to the "How is this compatible with a God of love?" crowd.

“Many of you have written and asked how a God of love and mercy could pour out such awful judgments upon the earth. God is more than a God of love and mercy. The Scriptures say God is love, yes. But they also say he is holy, holy, holy. He is just, as in justice. His love was expressed in the gift of his Son as the means of salvation. But if we reject this love gift, we fall under God’s judgment.

My response: what about the profoundly retarded who lack the wherewithal to accept any kind of God, those living in the darkest depths of the Amazon who haven't encountered any missionaries, and all the babies and kids who are going to die horribly as a result of these back to back disasters? I'm sure Zod won't have the horsemen attack the little ones just as he didn't have the demonic locusts attack the kids but being young wouldn't protect them from drinking bad water or freezing to death. I suppose they get a one-way ticket to Heaven which makes me wonder why the RTCs aren't killing kids like crazy. Not to mention, Zod is sending them to Hell which has been traditionally depicted and upheld by Ellanjay as a place of punishment with no end and I don't need to delve into all the wrong surrounding that. Just remember according to Ellanjay, Gandhi is in Hell because he lived and died a faithful Hindu, but Fred Phelps will get his pass to Heaven because he's a Christian.

“Imagine this world with half its population gone. If you think it is bad now with millions having disappeared in the Rapture, children gone, services and conveniences affected, try to fathom life with half of all civil servants gone. Firemen, policemen, laborers, executives, teachers, doctors, nurses, scientists … the list goes on. We are coming to a period where survival will be a full-time occupation.”

It should already be a fulltime occupation given all the disasters. Not to mention all those civil servants you listed, they're going to die and burn in Hell because they were doing their jobs, trying to save people from Acts of Zod.

I know this clip is only tangentially connected to what we're talking about but I'm linking y'all to it because it's awesome and because I'm picturing the civil servants as being like Dan Turpin from Superman: the Animated Series.

Anyway, that's the end of the letter. Afterwards, Melinda and Vicki talk. Melinda continues to show a healthy attitude: she doesn't want to convert just because she's scared. Vicki responds by saying "Zod's trying to get your attention." aka the same weaksauce argument used by every character in this series.

Melinda talks about how the horses gave her nightmares and Vicki says she was scared until she realized they couldn't harm her because they were protected by Zod. :grits teeth: Do I need to explain the wrong in that little sentence?

But for those hoping Melinda would escape with her healthier attitude towards Zod intact, I'm sorry to disappoint you but the chapter ends with her kneeling before Zod and saying The Prayer. :sigh: And I almost liked Melinda. Her attitude was so much healthier than that of the RTCs she's surrounded by who see God as their personal strongman.

Anyway, that's it for this week. I know, only one chapter, but I've done such a substantial post, so I'll leave you. Sorry for being mostly angry and bitter, not snarky and funny. Maybe next week will be better.

You just love sinning, you dirty, dirty sinner, you

Well, for those who didn't cheat and browse Wikipedia to find out the answer to last week's cliffhanger, it turns out Nada was the one that was shot and she promptly dies after saying a few words to Judd. Frankly, I have to commend whoever wrote this passage: the stuff dealing with the aftermath of her death is actually quite moving, mostly because the writer eases off the narrative gas and lets Judd actually feel something. I can't help but note that it's far better written than Ryan's death scene mostly because again, the writer lets the character feel something rather than hustling them onto the next disaster. I'm going to assume that this is all the ghostwriter's doing because I can't picture either Jerry Jenkins or Tim LaHaye showing this much compassion towards a character's feelings.

Also, Daddy Goldberg is dead and of course, there's no mention about how he's roasting on a spit at the hands of a merciful god. The YTF carry both him and Nada out of the jail and bury them outside.

But before you guys get the idea that I've sipped the flavor-aid and become a fan of this series, there is still a part where the characters demonstrate the trademark Ellanjay inhumanity that characterizes all the characters in this series.

They walked through streets littered with the dead. Some buildings were on fire, but there was no one to put them out. The massacre got worse as they neared Yitzhak’s home. Those who hadn’t been killed ran into the streets, wailing and crying over the dead.

That's all that's devoted to the aftermath of the lion-headed snake-tailed flying people killers. Once again, you shake your head sadly and wonder what a gifted writer like Cormac McCarthy would do with this.

Can't help but be disappointed that Nada's dead; she demonstrated more personality than Judd's eventual love interest, Vicki.

Second chapter, Vicki's driving. They stop in Iowa City and for those of you who were missing the bad writing and inhumanity that comes standard with Ellanjay's works, don't worry: it's back. :rolls up sleeves: We've got some work to do.

VICKI listened closely to the reports about the deadly horses as they drove east. Through Nebraska they saw the effects of the latest judgment. Houses in Lincoln were charred. The kids drove through billowing yellow and black smoke that floated through the area. They spotted herds of horses and riders in Omaha.
“I hope I never see those horses again,” Shelly said.
Conrad turned the news down. “I don’t get it. Those beasts are evil. They must want to hurt believers.”
“God’s using those killing machines for his own purpose. Somehow he’s put a hedge around those who are his, and those beings know it.”

I feel a need to reiterate: God is the one doing all this. According to Ellanjay, God is the Good Guy in all this and the Anti-Christ is the evil one. Yet remember, God is the one slaying millions via horrific disasters. :headdesk: I would say Zod's like something out of Lovecraft, except Lovecraft had the brains to know that the eldritch horrors in his works, while fearsome, were also not loving and kind and certainly not good. There's a reason I keep using my "Strawman always has a point" tag and that's because so far, the Strawman are the only ones making any logical sense.

Vicki and Shelly decide to stock up on junk food and watch the news. Naturally they snigger the entire time.

“Scientists are still speculating on the cause of this worldwide death plague,” one news anchor said. “Hundreds of thousands are reported dead; millions have been sickened by the mysterious smoke that seemingly came out of nowhere.”
“They can’t see the horses,” Shelly said.
Vicki shook her head. “Somehow God made them visible to us but blinded unbelievers.”

I highlighted this passage mostly for the clumsiness of the dialogue. Worldwide death plague? Oh and you need not specify that it seemingly came out of nowhere; you already said it was mysterious. But is there any reason why Zod would choose to blind unbelievers to the horses? He didn't with the demonic locusts. Needless to say I'm confused and am hoping aunursa can shed some light on this.

After watching the news for a bit, they change channels and we see more of the horrors of the NWO.

Those that weren’t showing the news were disgusting. One program featured a man in a desperate search for a family member who had been buried alive. A ticking clock was positioned at the bottom of the screen. At first, Vicki thought it was a movie.
“This is real,” Shelly said in disbelief.
“Turn to something else.”
Shelly switched to the next channel. A man in black robes and a mask stood inside a five-pointed star. It looked like he was praying.

Okay so being buried alive would be pretty horrifying and in the evil satanic NWO, it would make sense that it would take delight in that kind of suffering (even though Zod buried who-knows-how many in the Great Earthquake) but how is a guy in robes praying? Also, I thought the only faith allowed was the EBOWF or is this another case of "all other religions are satanic!" And here I thought that Ellanjay just considered all other religions to be a case of "La-la-la Can't hear you!" denial of Christ.

“Exactly what Tsion Ben-Judah predicted. People love themselves and their sin too much. Tsion said we’d see more drug use, murder, gross sexual stuff, and…”
“And what?”
“I think that guy was leading people in a prayer, but it wasn’t to God. I think he was praying to demons.”

I really don't need to say much about this quote except that it's nice to know that apparently drug addicts just love to sin and there's no such thing as being chemically addicted to something.

Next section is another Judd section and again, it's actually well-written with Judd talking with Nada's mother (whose finally given a name, Lina, if you're wondering) about Nada. It's enough to make me wonder what it is about Judd that's attracting the good writing right now. Maybe it's because writing about some characters mourning the loss of a friend, naturally lends itself to good, introspective prose or at least competent prose.

But quickly we're back at the next section...Nothing much happens except that Vicki finally returns to the schoolhouse. Oh and Token Jew has released yet another epistle. :massages temples: Oh what joys we have to look forward to...But it'll have to wait until next week. I just read that chapter and oh boy, do we have a lot to snark and I don't wanna stretch these posts out too long. So happy Easter and I'll see you then!

Lion-headed Snake-Tailed Flying People-Killers

Hello and happy Saturday!

So as said before by both me and Fred, Ellanjay like to simultaneously argue that their interpretation is the most simple, straightforward way of interpreting the Bible, yet at the same time, they argue that you need the careful guidance of prophecy "experts" such as themselves along with countless supplemental materials in order to interpret it properly. Or as I put in last week's post, the Bible should be taken literally except when it shouldn't and we should rely on them to tell us when to take it literally and when not to take it literally.

Vicki asks Shelly "Are you sure you saw what you saw?" Shelly, of course, says yes, but we don't dwell on that question for too long as apparently those people who were following them, the man in the truck and the woman in the car, are back on their tail. The woman manages to shoot out one of their tires, sending the van into a ditch. It goes without saying that none of them are seriously hurt and this has all the dramatic tension of me stubbing my toe because the YTF have already been through who-knows-how many arrests and disasters without so much as a bruise to show for it. I know I say that a lot but it bears repeating.

In Israel, Mr. Stein is walking towards the Jerusalem GC headquarters preaching. Now in a sensible novel, the snipers on the roof would just spray him full of lead, but in this novel, when faced with a man openly preaching doctrine against the world-wide dictatorship, they just bluster. I would say the GC is about as intimidating as wet cardboard painted lime-green and neon-pink, but wet cardboard could conceivably cut you which is more than what the GC does.

The GC goes to tackle Mr. Stein to the ground, when suddenly the air fills with the smell of sulfur and the horses with the lion-heads appear. Oh and apparently these lion-headed horses have snakes for tails. I point this out simply to remind you that this is what they mean by taking the Bible literally.

The Israel section ends with a passage that's horrifying but for all the wrong reasons.

Woodruff gasped and tried to speak. Before he could utter a word, a horse moved toward them and turned, its tail crashing into Woodruff’s back. The man flew into the air like a child’s toy and crashed into the building. His limp body fell to the sidewalk.
Judd shuddered. How could the horses strike with such force when they weren’t physical beings? He and the others had walked directly through them!
Lionel reached the deputy commander’s body and checked his pulse.
He shook his head. “Let’s go,” Mr. Stein said.

And Deputy Commander Woodruff is now burning in the fires of Hell for all eternity even though all these disasters are supposed to be Zod's attempt to reach people before, well, some indeterminate time in which he can't reach people anymore.

I feel like the MST3K crew watching Space Mutiny. I tried to track down the clip that sprang immediately to mind: "Our Hero bravely roasts the disabled man." But I'm afraid I couldn't find it on YouTube, so settle for some clips from the Space Mutiny episode and marvel at how even the stuff on MST3K is more involving than this.

Anyway, the chapter ends with Vicki and her crew facing down the man and the woman but honestly I'm so bored, I'm just going to fast-forward through the entire confrontation. Trust me, you'll thank me for this because once again, nothing happens to our heroes. The Lion-headed snake-tailed horsemen kill the people confronting them.

Next chapter, the kids at the Schoolhouse are watching and sniggering as the GC try desperately to deal with/explain what the hell is happening. Naturally are sympathies are once again with the GC as they seemed genuinely shocked by the loss of life/freakiness of the events happening unlike the moralistic prigs that make up the YTF. Melinda, aka one of the godless heathens who stubbornly refuses to convert, comes in during the newscast. Naturally they try to convert her but she says she doesn't want to convert just because she's scared of dying and I can't help but once again, say that she probably has a healthier attitude towards God than the YTF who see him as their personal strongman, but unfortunately, the authors aren't on her side. It's the murderous Zod that runs this universe.

Nicky Bendeleben comes on and makes his speech. For once, Nicky's demonstrating some villain credentials as he pins the cause of this disaster on a hated minority and uses it as an excuse to stir up more people against said minority.

“You have the right to live healthy, peaceful, and free. While I remain against war, I pledge to rid the world of this cult, beginning with the Jerusalem Twosome, who even now express no remorse about the widespread loss of life that has resulted from this attack.”

Gotta give Nicky credit: he's got the RTCs' number here. Not only do the Gruesome Twosome (my nickname of choice for the prophets) not express remorse; they're openly gleeful about the attack.

“Woe to the enemies of the most high God!” they said. “Woe to the cowards who shake their fist at their creator and are now forced to flee his wrath! We beseech you, snakes and vipers, to see even this plague as more than judgment! Yea, it is yet another attempt to reach you by a loving God who has run out of patience. There is no more time to woo you. You must hearken to his call, see that it is he who loves you. Turn to the God of your fathers while there is still time. For the day will come when time shall be no more!”

I could go into a long rant about how the villains are much more sympathetic because they at least show some concern for the loss of human life and I could also rant about how the Gruesome Twosome are horrible preachers who make the bum ranting on a street corner sound like Martin Luther King, Jr. but my real problem is that Nicky is only now taking care of some possible threats to his rule? Why didn't he demand the worldwide media under his control stop broadcasting his message? I know supposedly according to the convoluted prophecy that Ellanjay follow that the Gruesome Twosome can't die before a specific time (four months from now according to Ellanjay), but why does Nicky not simply make the news stations cut their mikes and go to commercials?

Carpathia continued. “We shall live in a utopia of peace and harmony with no more war, no more bloodshed, no more death. In the meantime, please accept my deepest personal condolences over the loss of your loved ones. They shall not have died in vain. Continue to trust in the ideals of the Global Community, in the tenets of peace, and in the genius of an all-inclusive universal faith that welcomes the devout of any religion.

“Just four months from now we shall celebrate in the very city where the preachers now taunt and warn us. We shall applaud their demise and revel in a future without plague and disease and suffering and death. Keep the faith, and look forward to that day. And until I address you again, thank you for your loyal support of the Global Community.”

So in the space of a paragraph, Nicky has gone from being "Let's hold hands and sing Kumbaya" to "And you will know that I am the Supreme Potentate when I lay my vengence upon thee!" And once again, the underlying assumption is that all pacifists secretly yearn for bloodshed. Again, Ellanjay must have nightmares about being caught in an alleyway with Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.

The chapter ends with Judd and the others freeing Nada and her family but just as the jailer comes in and fires his gun. I read ahead and part of me wants to spoil what little suspense their is by pointing out who got shot, but you guys can go ahead and browse wikipedia if you're that curious. Me, I've had enough for this week.

Taken Literally. Except when you shouldn't

First of all, thank you, thank you to Magpie for giving me a copy of the next book in the series. You are awesome!

So like I said, last week left off with Buck's brother, Jeff introducing himself. Jeff talks about how things have been tough and he and dad have been struggling to keep the trucking business going and I could do a long rant about how with all the disasters, they shouldn't still have a business, but I think I'll spare you. I'm trying to be a little less redundant but I can make no guarantees; it's not like Ellanjay aren't known for their redundancies.

Jeff tells his story about how Sharon and his kids were slaughtered disappeared and naturally, Vicki tries to convert him, but Jeff refuses to bite, giving me a chance to dust off my "Strawman always has a point" tag.

In Israel, Judd and the others discuss what to do about Jamal and his family. According to Sam, last time he saw Kasim, he had a bloody lip. I only point that out to further show Ellanjay's rule that bad things only happen to minor characters. He figures that the GC found them because of Kasim's phone call to Kweesa. Sam says that they have to pray that his dad accepts the truth, but Judd says there might be another way and the section ends there.

Next section, Mark calls and apparently the GC are restarting schools. :groans: Why exactly are they doing schools given that the Earth only has a few years left to live and therefore there isn't going to be a future? But then again, they are repeatedly unclear as to whether Nicky Tuxtla is aware of the prophecies and is intentionally following them or if he is, like all the characters in the story, a puppet of the almighty Zod.

Basically they're requiring everyone under twenty to go through continuing education complete with Morale Monitors. Y'all have already pointed out the numerous problems with the Morale Monitors in a previous post so no need to rehash that. It goes without saying that the press anouncement mentions that the schools will teach the most eeevil of all virtues, tolerance, and that young people refusing to attend said schools will be rounded up. I find myself wondering if this isn't Ellanjay projecting that this is what the eeevil NWO will someday do to brave RTCs who homeschool their children.

Based on this announcement, Vicki decides to curtail their travels and return to the school and she and Mark start to wonder what to do in case the GC checks into their unorthodox living arrangements.

The newly converted RTCs start to worry that if the GC force them to attend one of their schools, they could be brainwashed and lose the Zod-mark. But Vicki has this to say:

“You don’t have to worry about losing the mark.” Vicki explained that the kids who believe in Jesus are held not by their own power, but by God’s. “Each of you has to make up your own mind. By going you might be able to reach some people who don’t know about God. But it might be too much for you to listen to the GC’s blather.”

This is consistent with earlier how Lionel didn't lose his Saved status even when he had laser-guided amnesia, but it does raise some questions. Like if you can't lose your salvation, then why so much hatred against those who convert then change their minds later? Or is this another case of "the Word of Zod is sooo amazing that you either instantly accept its truth or you're willfully disingenuous?"

Vicki tries once again to get Jeff to convert but he says he needs more time. The chapter ends with Vicki finding out that Omer has been killed. Honestly, I mourn because he was the only character showing any kind of initiative, but you know that Ellanjay don't like characters who do things besides lie back and think of Zod.

The chapter ends with this headslapper of a statement:

“The worst part is that the GC were getting ready to release Omer’s mom. Carl said if they had waited a few more days, everything would have been all right.”

Once again, let me just say: Worst Dictatorship ever! They have a group of traitors to the cause and they don't torture the hell out of them or kill them?! Like I've said before, a shorter list would be of villains who were less effective than Nicky.

Also, note how information about Omer's death is given secondhand, robbing it of any impact. I officially take back my remarks about how they handled the deaths of the Power Couple of Awesomeness; at least that had some wrenching potential as we got to hear Hasina and Taylor profess their love for one another before being killed.

Next chapter, Ellanjay, or more likely the ghostwriter, ease off the narrative gas as we admit that these constant deaths have had an impact on Vicki.

With each day, Vicki grew numb. She didn’t want to. She wanted to feel alive. With each person who prayed and asked God for forgiveness, she felt a spark in her soul. Then something else would happen, like the news of Omer, and she would become preoccupied again.

This numbness makes sense as they are experiencing constant casualties but if you were expecting to really delve into what that does to a psyche, you're reading the wrong books. This isn't George RR Martin we're dealing with here.

Vicki looks over Our Buck's paper The Truth which basically says that the schools are indoctrinating kids into GC propaganda, then decides to read Token Jew's latest missive. And I must wonder how is it that there's no mention that the GC are monitoring and jailing everyone who visits Token Jew's website? You'd think that'd be worth a mention, how the YTF work around that but shows what I know.

My text is from Revelation 9:15-21. “And the four angels who had been prepared for this hour and day and month and year were turned loose to kill one-third of all the people on earth. They led an army of 200 million mounted troops—I heard an announcement of how many there were.
“And in my vision, I saw the horses and the riders sitting on them. The riders wore armor that was fiery red and sky blue and yellow. The horses’ heads were like the heads of lions, and fire and smoke and burning sulfur billowed from their mouths. One-third of all the people on earth were killed by these three plagues—by the fire and the smoke and burning sulfur that came from the mouths of the horses. Their power was in their mouths, but also in their tails. For their tails had heads like snakes, with the power to injure people. “But the people who did not die in these plagues still refused to turn from their evil deeds. They continued to worship demons and idols made of gold, silver, bronze, stone, and wood—idols that neither see nor hear nor walk! And they did not repent of their murders or their witchcraft or their immorality or their thefts.”

Okay, given that we've seen meteors in place of stars falling to earth and Wormwood was a comet made of rotting wood, I'm sure you are all waiting with bated breath to see how Token Jew interprets horses with heads like lions.

So here comes his analysis.

This passage has puzzled me for some time. For centuries scholars have looked at prophecy as symbolic. These symbols have been explained in different ways by different people. But why would God make it so difficult? I believe when the Scriptures say the writer saw something in a vision, it is symbolic of something else. But when the writer simply says that certain things happen, I take those literally.

Did you understand what the hell that meant? Neither did I. All I can parse from that passage is that the Bible can and should be taken literally except when it shouldn't, but don't you worry your pretty little head about if and when and just listen to me.

So far I have been proven right. This passage says John sees 200 million horsemen in a vision. I doubt these men and animals will be flesh and bone since John mentions a vision, but they will have a terrible impact on the world. They will indeed kill a third of the population. Friends, I don’t know how this will happen or even how long it will take. God could make it occur in an instant. It appears to me that it will take several weeks. I ask you to read the account in Revelation and ask God to make it clear to you.

Yeah, if I rolled my eyes any further back, I'm afraid they'd fall out of my head. Again, how is it that Ellanjay manage to argue that the Bible is both simultaneously easy enough that even the most uneducated can understand its mysteries, yet also so convoluted you need a flowchart and the help of prophecy "experts" in order to get it?

There's a brief chase scene as Vicki notices some cars tailing them, but they shake them pretty quickly and I'm bored to death with the whole thing. The chapter ends with Shelly saying she saw horses with lion-heads which means yet another disaster is about to happen.