Why the Kids books are better than the Adults.

Is Left Behind: the Kids a good series? No. There are tons of YA authors who are more in touch with youth culture and deal better with issues such as the end of the world and religion a million times better than Ellanjay. Read Katherine Paterson, read Ann M. Martin, Jerry Spinelli, anybody but Ellanjay if you want good YA fiction. If you really want post-apocalyptic YA fiction, I recommend Susan Beth Pfeffer's last survivors series. It's dark, grim, and shows how people really react when the end of days is on them.

But is Left Behind: the Kids better than the adult books? Much as it pains me to admit this, I have to say, yes. While the kids has nearly all the flaws of the adult series and is terminally boring, it lacks the creepy sexual politics and so far, things are actually happening in these books. I don't know why the kids is better than the adults, but note when I say better, I don't mean they're good books. These are still terrible, terrible books. In short, Left Behind: the kids is better than the adult books the way a kick in the gut is better than a kick in the teeth.

So apparently the temple in Israel has already been built. Got to hand it to Nicky Cherskiy: he works fast. Not to mention, he has the incredible ability to move mountains since the muslims don't object to them building on the dome of the rock because apparently he moved it.

Oh, and Bruce met up with some guy from Singapore who's giving them permission to use the stadium Dr. Ben-Judah uses, to hold meetings there. It is then they find out that Vicki has been arrested and their mole at the school, Coach Handlesmen, is in trouble. Naturally Bruce decides to go to Singapore. Why?

"Wait," Judd said. "If God wants you in Singapore, that's where you should go."
"I wouldn't want to abandon Vicki or Coach Handlesmen when they need me most," Bruce said.
"You're not abandoning them," Judd said. "They would want you to follow God's leading. I'll go back."

And naturally Bruce decides a sixteen-year-old boy is the perfect candidate for negotiating the release of a comrade from NWO (New World Order) goons. Once again, Bruce proves how useless he really is.

So Vicki is in the slammer and is visited by Chaya. She advises Chaya to get an apartment near Bruce and that's all the happens in her section. Back to the manly men.

Judd arrives back in Chicago and is shocked, shocked, to have his luggage searched by NWO goons. Judd's outrage at this seems quaint in our post-9/11 days of full-body scanners, but this was composed in 1999 aka pre-9/11, so I suppose we can give Ellanjay a pass on this.

Basically the NWO goon is searching Judd because his name came up in an investigation of Coach Handlesmen and I point to sections like these as proof that the kids books are better than the adults. Stuff is actually happening: christians are facing actual persecution and the NWO goons are actually doing something.

The NWO goons search Judd's computers but the hard drive's crashed and they can't find anything on him, so he's free. But at the end of the chapter, we finally get some mention of money woes.

It was a bank statement. His father's account which he thought would easily last the next seven years, was dangerously low. They would be lucky if the money lasted seven months.

Okay, this is bothering me. Judd is a rich kid: he lives a house that's big enough that each of the YTF can have their own room and it's in a wealthy Chicago suburb. So how is it that he managed to drain the account so fast with the YTFs' expenses. Granted that trip to Israel couldn't have been cheap, nor could the paper, but could they really have drained his father's account with living expenses alone?

Next chapter, we're back to Vicki in prison. Vicki gets shanked. Now, for some reason, we're back to Judd. Why we haven't heard from Ryan or Lionel in a while, I don't know. I imagine them hanging around off-screen at some support group for victims of Ellanjay Abuse with Hattie and Verna.

Basically the NWO has stepped up the number of guards at the school and Judd has decided to become Valedictorian, because apparently in Ellanjayland people actually listen to valedictorian speeches, so Judd sees this as his chance to evangelize.

Back to Vicki. She survived the stabbing so we can cancel that candlelight vigil we had planned but now she's being shipped from Juvie to an adult facility. Why we keep cutting back to Judd, I don't know; right now her story is more compelling, but she's a chick and Judd's a dude so therefore, his story is considered more exciting.

Anyway, Judd gets called to an assembly where it is told that there will be zero tolerance for those who evangelize and they're given new uniforms to wear. The uniforms are black with white doves on the shoulders and those who don't want to wear the dove, get uniforms with red Xs.

And that's the snark for this week. I would have done a third chapter but I think this post is long enough.

Oy Gevalt!

What have the YTF been up to? I'm sure you're all dying to know, so I'll tell you: they've been busy reading email responses to the Underground and giving out Bibles. Thrillsville.

Meanwhile, Vicki is curious to know more about the Steins' daughter, Chaya, so she starts digging around for information and it turns out, despite the Steins saying she's dead, she's actually alive. [cue dramatic prairie dog]

Well, she meets up with Chaya and they talk about her last conversation with Chaya's christian friend, Tom. And Chaya talks about how her parents would have reacted if she had told them she had become a Christian.

"Becoming a heretic. Believing lies. Turning your back on everything you've been taught. I could have robbed a bank, gotten pregnant--whatever--and it wouldn't have been as terrible as becoming a Christian. A couple of years ago a friend of the family became a Christian, and I thought my parents would sit shivah for him on the day he was baptized."

Once again, I am handicapped by the fact I am a Christian and therefore, am ignorant of much of Jewish culture, but right now I'm going, "O RLY?" at the whole they'd rather have me rob a bank than become a Christian. Because it seems like Ellanjay's perception of Jews is that of some guys with beards going "Oy Gevalt." all the time. I bet if I were to ask Ellanjay what Jews eat, they would answer, "Bagels," and they probably think that Jews spend all their time, sitting around denying that Jesus is the Messiah, when in reality, they have their own traditions and own scriptures to debate.

Now to the next chapter. It turns out Judd has decided to leave for Jewishstan, aka Israel. Great show of leadership, genius, leaving a thirteen-year-old and a twelve-year-old to look after each other. Before you ask, Bruce "Useless" Barnes is going with him.

Anyway we get the Athiest Inquisition round deux, but it turns out that Coach Handlesmen was pretending to be on their side. He was the one who returned Mark and John's bibles to them and he has taken all the blame for the YTF's paper.

Anyway to make a long story short, at the end of the second chapter, Bruce and Judd are on their way to Israel and Vicki and Chaya are on the run from the eeevil athiests.

Now to the third chapter.

Bruce and Judd are on the plane and we finally get a brief discussion of dating, though both of them pussy-foot around the subject a little. You just know that Judd is dying to get into Vicki's pants but wants permission from the Pope of Mount Prospect, aka Bruce, and to Bruce's credit, he doesn't exactly say no but neither does he say yes. I guess part of him realizes the old scare stories they use to scare kids into not having sex aren't going to work when the world has less than seven years to live and both Bruce and Judd know it. Still rather than suggest that Judd just marry Vicki and get to shagging, Bruce tells him to work on his relationship with Zod.

Okay, so they get to Israel and meet with Token Jew's wife and kids. Naturally, they are all Christians and they decide to give Judd a tour of Israel. In the hands of a good writer, the telling of all the sacred sites they see and their reaction to it, could take up several pages, but unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your perspective, we're in the hands of Ellanjay who delegates all this to one paragraph.

Judd was amazed to think that Jesus had actually walked these same roads, carried the cross, was crucified, and rose again in this ancient land. He was awestruck at the Garden of Gethsemane. That afternoon, the Bible came alive to him.

It's times like this that I wish we were in the hands of a real hack writer like Dan Brown or anybody besides Ellanjay. Reading this passage is like watching a slide show with someone standing in front of the screen the whole time, blocking the view. At least a hack writer would let us see the sites a little.

So Judd goes to Teddy Kollek stadium where Moishe and Eli are proclaiming their message.

"You have been gathered from the twelve tribes of Israel, the chosen ones of the Almighty. And we have been given the high calling of proclaiming his name to every nation, every tribe, every tongue--"

This is supposed to be inspiring but I can't help but wonder which twelve tribes they're talking about. I also doubt that any of the Jews could say for certain which tribe they belong to, because after centuries and centuries of marriages, it would be impossible to distinguish one from another. Not to mention, the bible can't even agree on the tribes. As Fred put it, if I was a Danite, I'd be highly insulted.

They go on to recite basic scripture which anyone remotely familiar with the Bible would know, but Ellanjay realizes they don't have the talent needed to write the words of a prophet so they just quote bits of scripture and have the other characters say how inspiring they are in hopes of covering the deficit.

Anyway, the chapter ends with Vicki being arrested after breaking into Judd's house and I headdesk at her stupidity and decide to let you all discuss Ellanjay's latest failings in the comments section.

Token Jew Says, "What?!"

Well in this chapter we finally hear from Token Jew aka Tsion-Ben-Judah. Now, a few of you readers new to the Left Behind series might be a little offended that I refer to Tsion as Token Jew, but the truth is, Tsion Ben-Judah serves as Ellanjay's concession, as their way of saying, "See we don't think all Jews are wrong-headed idiots." Because that's what they do think. According to them, Jews exist to serve one purpose: to return to Israel and to convert or die in the last act of Armageddon.

It's not hard to see the anti-Semitism that colours this view. Maybe they're not saying "Hitler was right" but they are saying that their views are wrong, clung to by stubbornness and ignorance (which is a step above the disingenousness they accuse every other religion of). They basically believe that Jews are cute but wrong, needing only to hear of the almighty truth of Jesus in order to become good Christians.

To quote Gershom Gorenburg's review of the Left Behind series, for a Jewish person, reading this series is like "The experience is jarring, like meeting someone who calls you by your name, insists he knows you, remembers you from a high school you didn't attend, a job you never had. I'm reading a book set largely in the country where I live -- but not really, because the authors' Israel is a landscape of their imagination, and the characters called "Jews" might as well be named hobbits or warlocks. Israel and Jews are central to Nicolae and the other books of the hugely successful Left Behind series -- but the country belongs to the map of a Christian myth; the people speak lines from a script foreign to flesh-and-blood Jews."

That about sums it up Ellanjay's views and if we didn't have so much more wrongheadedness to go through, we could stop there, but we do so let's continue.

First of all, there is no reason for the Israel government to appoint Tsion Ben-Judah to do his study in the first place for the same reason you don't see the US appointing a minister to find out when the second coming of Christ will be: a truly secular government has more important things to devote time and money then to finding out the answers to questions like how many angels could dance on the end of a pen.

Anyway, back to the story. Right now, Vicki has been released from the Detention center and sent to live with a Jewish couple. Which makes sense: most social workers would frown on a fourteen-year-old girl living with only a sixteen-year-old boy and Bruce "Useless" Barnes as guardians. Why they haven't put the rest of the YTF in foster homes, I don't know.

So she's watching the news and Tsion Ben-Judah comes on.

"I promise not to bore you with statistics, but we believe that there are at least 109 separate and distinct prophecies Messiah must fulfill. They require a man so unusual and a life so unique as to eliminate all pretenders."

And right now I'm playing the Wikipedian Protester. I looked up the specific 109 number and I only found a bunch of Christian websites, and even they couldn't agree on the specific number of prophecies that point towards the messiah. I did look up Jewish Messianism on Wikipedia to find out what they say about the Messiah and here's a list of what they consider Messianic prophecies:

Isaiah 1:26: "And I will restore your judges as at first and your counsellors as in the beginning; afterwards you shall be called City of Righteousness, Faithful City." Some Jews interpret this to mean that the Sanhedrin will be re-established. (Isaiah 1:26)

Once he is King, leaders of other nations will look to him for guidance. (Isaiah 2:4)

The whole world will worship the One God of Israel (Isaiah 2:11-17)

He will be descended from King David (Isaiah 11:1) via Solomon (1 Chronicles 22:8-10, 2 Chronicles 7:18)

The "spirit of the Lord" will be upon him, and he will have a "fear of God" (Isaiah 11:2)

Evil and tyranny will not be able to stand before his leadership (Isaiah 11:4)

Knowledge of God will fill the world (Isaiah 11:9)

He will include and attract people from all cultures and nations (Isaiah 11:10)

All Israelites will be returned to their homeland (Isaiah 11:12)

Death will be swallowed up forever (Isaiah 25:8)

There will be no more hunger or illness, and death will cease (Isaiah 25:8)

All of the dead will rise again (Isaiah 26:19)

The Jewish people will experience eternal joy and gladness (Isaiah 51:11)

He will be a messenger of peace (Isaiah 52:7)

Nations will recognize the wrongs they did to Israel (Isaiah 52:13-53:5)

The peoples of the world will turn to the Jews for spiritual guidance (Zechariah 8:23)

The ruined cities of Israel will be restored (Ezekiel 16:55)

Weapons of war will be destroyed (Ezekiel 39:9)

The people of Israel will have direct access to the Torah through their minds and Torah study will become the study of the wisdom of the heart (Jeremiah 31:33)

He will give you all the worthy desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4)

He will take the barren land and make it abundant and fruitful (Isaiah 51:3, Amos 9:13-15, Ezekiel 36:29-30, Isaiah 11:6-9)

Sorry for the bigass quote but things needed to be said. And before anybody objects I am aware Wikipedia is not the bestest most accurate source in the world, but I consider it a hell of a lot more accurate than Ellanjay.

Meanwhile, back to the list...Ask yourselves, how many of those prophecies did Jesus fulfill? Little to none. The Messiah is supposed to be a figure who brings peace to the Jewish people yet ever since the time of Jesus, they've faced continual threats of extinction.

Besides, not even the Jews and the Christians can agree on what constitutes a messianic prophecy. I've seen websites pull from Psalms as examples of prophecy which is completely not the intent of the book of Psalms. Psalms is a collection of hymns and prayers, not prophecies.

Okay, deep breath, back to the story.

Ol' Tsion recites the usual story about how the Messiah is born of a virgin than proceeds to say this headslapper.

"Let me close by saying that the three years I have invested in searching the sacred writings of Moses and the prophets have been the most rewarding of my life. I expanded my study to books of history and other sacred writings, including the New Testament of the Gentiles, combing every record I could find to see if anyone has ever lived up to the messianic qualifications..."

If you didn't find at least one reason to headdesk in that last paragraph, your IQ is below sea level. Why would Jews consult outside works to explain a Jewish prophecy. Wouldn't it make more sense for them to dig into their own works, studying their history and authorship?

Again, the paragraph doesn't mention if Token Jew sullied himself by reading the Koran, or Buddhist Suttras, or the Upanishads, but if he or Ellanjay had even bothered to take a glimpse at another culture's religion, they would discover that the virgin birth is a fairly common motif, claimed of many figures such as Mohammad and Buddha.

He goes on to point out usual prophecies that aren't on wikipedia's list and then says on that I've tried to verify but when I googled it, only Christian websites would come up, not Jewish.

"According to one of the greatest of all Hebrew prophets, Daniel, there would be exactly 483 years between the decree to rebuld the wall and the city of Jersualem would be 'in troublesome times' before the Messiah would be cut off for the sins of the people."
Ben-Judah looked directly into the camera. "Exactly 483 years after the rebuilding of Jerusalem and its walls, Jesus Christ of Nazerath offered himself to the nation of Israel."

:headdesks again: Again, I remind you I cannot verify this 483 years bit, but I can point out one thing: the world and Israel is still in troublesome times even after Jesus's life and that's probably what we should focus on, not on this whether or not it counts as exactly 483 years or not. Poverty and war are still rampant even though according to Messianic prophecy they were supposed to be ended.

Also, this reading of the prophets, as only picking and nitpicking out verses that could conceivably relate to a Messiah, ignores the real purpose of the prophets. The prophets weren't just a bunch of clairvoyants; they were passionate, wild-eyed people who loved social justice and still have much they could say for us today. But as said before, Social Justice equals commie-talk among RTCs.

Vicki's family turns off the TV then and Vicki goes into her room and reads the journal of their disappeared daughter, Chaya. Chaya had apparently started to wonder if Jesus was the messiah.

Meanwhile, back to Bruce "Useless" Barnes and the rest of YTF. Apparently a militia movement has started to stockpile guns, which, given what Bruce knows about the next seven years, stocking up guns and food and water should be a reasonable thing to do. But Bruce isn't thrilled about the idea of them joining the militia.

"There may be a place for military strength," Bruce said. "But I would hate to see you get involved with them."
"But why? If somebody doesn't stand up to Carpathia we'll all be serving the devil! I don't see why you're against this."

Neither do I. As I recall, don't the TF end up forming a militia? But I have a feeling, Bruce is more objecting to them serving under someone besides him than really the idea of a militia itself. Bruce then cites Ephesians 6, but still Mark isn't convinced.

"Why can't I be a Christian and fight with weapons?" Mark said. "The Bible is full of examples."

That is true and Bruce could say that he could fight against Carpathia by helping to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and visit those in prison. That is what Christ would do and doing what He would do, would be opposing the anti-Christ, but luckily Bruce is a manly man and doesn't go for that wussy touchy-feely stuff.

"Just be sure that you're doing this God's way. Zechariah 4:6 says, 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.'"

And with that, I'll leave you all to discuss. Please, if any of you are scholars of Judaism, fill in the gaps of my lack of knowledge. I have done my best with Google and Wikipedia but I realize neither is what you could call a reliable source. Again, I am handicapped by the fact I don't have a degree in Theology like Fred and can't give the best information on the scriptures, their meaning, and the history behind them.

Sorry to do only one chapter this week, but I think I've made a good, substantial post, nonetheless. :grins:

Thrill as Our Heroes Bravely Watch Television!

You'll be pleased to know I'm back to just covering two chapters.

This chapter begins with Moishe and Eli receiting verses from the Bible because even Jenkins is smart enough to realize he can't possibly create prose worthy of prophets. I'm just disappointed that he didn't replicate Stephen's sermon to the Sanhedrin though that Stephen did have a tendency to go on about social justice, stuff that RTCs just can't get behind.

Anyway, we do get this wonderful quote from Bruce which makes you want to slam your head repeatedly against your desk.

For those of you wondering, this is referring to a Muslim graveyard on the site.

"Jewish tradition says that in the end times, Messiah and Elijah will lead the Jews to the temple in triumph through the gate from the east. But Elijah is a priest and walking through a graveyard would defile him, so they put a cemetery there to make the triumphal entry impossible."

Ah, those evil Muslims, always acting so evil and muslim. You got to wonder that if the Muslims didn't believe in the messiah, why would they bother with such calculating evil?

Sorry for the poor quality of the snark but I tried to find out more information on the Muslim graveyard but all that came up were websites of dubious quality making similar claims as Ellanjay.

Vicki, meanwhile is in solitary and tries to witness to the girl who got her locked up to no avail.

But it turns out, the eeevil they were trying to use a message from Vicki as a trap, but the YTF figure it out in time, and return home only to see a police car in the driveway. It turns out someone tried to break in and Ryan called Tom Fogarty. Pity, I was rather hoping that he had somehow escaped the book. Anyway, that's the end of that chapter.

Ugh, all they do is hand out their stupid paper and watch TV at school. Does Ellanjay really believe this is how you hook in those young'uns, with lots of tv-watching action?

Basically, for those curious, it's a repeat of what happened in the adult books, with the treaty, the gift of air force one, and everyone being surprisingingly willing to destroy their weapons like characters in a bad Superman movie.

That's it for this week. Next week, we finally hear from the incredibly wrong-headed prophet, Tsion ben Judah.

Vicki's Got Stripes

So Vicki is let go but she soon discovers she's being followed. She even resorts to hiding in a dumpster to escape from them, but is soon found. Luckily Judd rescues her and it's off to another Trib Force meeting. What are our brave heroes doing? Listening to the radio and here's what it has to say.

"Not a day has passed without some major development with new UN Secretary-General Nicholae Carpathia," the reporter said. "And today was no exception. Cincinnatti Archbishop Peter Cardinal Matthews, who some see as a successor to the vanished pope, announced a new cooperative religion that will incorporate the tenets of all major religions. He calls it the Global Community Faith."

Fred has already gone into great detail about why this is impossible so I won't talk much on the subject except to further state that it is. Sure I mean people will agree on a few basic tenets such as "murder is wrong" but Christians have killed other Christians over issues such as infant baptism, let alone factoring other faiths such as Islam, or Buddhism, or Animism, and on and on.

But the eevil stooges of the Public School system pick up Vicki and haul her away to a social worker and it is decided that Vicki will be placed in a detention center.

I had considered only doing two chapters but so little has happened, I think I'll throw in a third, just to keep my dear readers happy.

Basically in the next chapter, the boys are working on the next edition of the Underground, throwing in some information on the temple as given to them by Buck from Rabbi Marc Feinberg. I've decided not to quote the passage in full because it's the basic information any of us knows about the history of the temple. It's like Buck basically copied from the Encyclopedia Britannica. I will point out one detail: it says the Dome of the Rock is on Mount Moriah. Emphasis mine. That means it's on a mountain that you can't just pick up and move. Too bad Ellanjay copied the information without it ever sinking in.

But meanwhile at the Detention Center, Vicki is getting aquainted with her new life. In addition to having her stuff compensated, the eevil athiest detention center aslo has a chaplain. Most of the kids nod off during the chaplain's sermon, but Vicki is disgusted.

"God is love and love comes from God. He is in each of you and if you want his lght, you must embrace him. I encourage you to search for God in your own way. Become yourself as much as you can, and you will grow ever closer to the divine."

Naturally Vicki is appalled though I don't see really why. The first sentence of the sermon is a basic tenet of most peoples' faith. The rest is a bunch of new-agey crap that wouldn't work in this new world. In a world where all the children have been snatched, they would be demanding answers, not wanting to hold hands and sing kumbayah.

But someone plants joints in Vicki's bible so she's busted and has to spend five days in solitary.

At the end of this chapter, we get the first appearance of Chloe Steele who is worried about her dad taking the job with Carpathia. Apparently he told Carpathia, he was a Christian which is exactly the thing you say to the anti-Christ. And the YTF and TF's collective response is "I hope that doesn't get him in trouble," and the sound you hear is me banging my head against my desk repeatedly.

A Three-Piece Snark

Sorry about not posting for last week. I was in the hospital and unable to get to a computer and by the time I got out, I decided to just wait until Sunday like usual to do my posting.

Anyway, I'll start with some bad news: Shelly decides to kneel before Zod. This is wrenching news, I know; we were all hoping she'd escape like Tom Fogarty, but so much for that hope.

Anyway, the Global Community monitors are in full force and are searching everybody at school. Got to hand it to ol' Nicky Karakoram: he works fast. Somehow he's able to have two people in a school with hundreds of kids, search everybody.

Bruce still doesn't want the YTF doing another paper and we finally get some mention of Rayford and Chloe as Bruce asks them to pray for them because Rayford might get the job piloting his plane. Again, I've theorized that LaHaye wasn't breathing down Jenkins's neck as much judging by how we've so far, followed Buck more and Rayford's barely been mentioned. That's my theory and so far, there's not a lot to disprove it.

Back to Shelly though. Bruce goes to visit her and her mother is there, stinking of alcohol, therefore acting like someone who has lost someone, which earns her the scorn of the other characters. She's also suspicious of Bruce and the bill of goods he's trying to sell which makes me like her even more. She's worried, justifiably I might say, that Shelly has made a foolish decision under duress.

Meanwhile, the YTF are out collecting bibles and Ryan finds a dog, names it Phoenix, and I nearly collapse of boredom. Let's go to the next chapter.

In the next chapter, thrill as the YTF goes to plant its paper and narrowly misses getting caught. But all is not well as Vicki is pulled out of class by the Global Community monitors.

So next chapter, Vicki is being given the Eeevil Athiest Inquisition as they question her about the paper and it turns out the person who snitched on her was Shelly who was strong-armed into it by her mother. :cue dramatic prairie dog:

And I'm afraid that's it for this week. Not much happens in these three chapters and there's nothing quotable. I almost wanted to do a fourth chapter for you, but a lot goes down in that chapter, so much so that it deserves its own post.

Sorry to disappoint for this week.

God the Holy Abortionist

Okay, so the boys find some way of sneaking their paper into the school paper as a means of distributing it. Yawn. Snore. Let's go to the real interesting story: Shelly.

Shelly's in the hospital and Vicki is visiting her. At first I have to commend Vicki for behaving like a friend, nay a human being, for visiting Shelly and actually expressing concern over her, but as it becomes clear, Vicki is only doing this because she sees her chance to chalk up another on her fuselage. That sound you hear is my faint feeling of hope, dying a slow death. Pray for it.

Shelly repeats the story that the other girl had told Vicki about babysitting for the Fischers and watching all the Fischers, disappear, including the babies she was holding in her arms. Again, my heart breaks for Shelly especially when at the end, she demonstrates that she, unlike Vicki, knows that the kids have been slaughtered by God and are never coming back.

"Why did God have to take those kids, Vicki? They didn't do anything wrong."

Vicki responds with "God took them to heaven," but that doesn't reassure Shelly and right now, I'm wishing this whole novel was about her. Her story is so much more compelling than any of the Elsie Dinsmores that make up the YTF, and she knows something Vicki refuses to admit: The Fischers are dead and they aren't coming back, and neither are the other children, God slaughtered. Gone is gone and it doesn't matter if they were wisked away to heaven like Elijah or killed in a car accident. It doesn't change the fact they're not coming back. Ever.

Vicki immediately begins her spiel about sin and about how Jesus paid the price for our sins, but Shelly refuses to bite. Right now, I'm cheering because maybe she'll escape this novel the way Tom Fogarty did, but I've read ahead to the end of the next chapter and from there, it looks increasingly less likely. Let us all weep for Shelly.

Well, the YTF minus Vicki gets called to the office about the papers. But before the eeevil administration can get any information about the paper out of our brave heroes, Vicki hits the fire alarm and they escape. For Now. But the forces of darkness are colluding against our heroes and who knows how long they'll escape expulsion. But John and Mark, the newest members of the YTF, mention something interesting. Their Bibles, which were compensated by an eeevil teacher, have turned up in their lockers with verses highlighted. So gang, a mystery's afoot.

Meanwhile, you know him, and if you're anything like me or Fred, you love to hate him: It's Bruce Barnes. Finally I can dust off my "Bruce Barnes is Useless" tag.

Basically Bruce found out about their little newspaper and Bruce is peeved. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because the YTF are proving how absolutely useless he is; they're actually trying to do something to help people, while he knows who the antichrist is yet sits on this information and refuses to share it because he deems them unworthy of the knowledge and deserving of immense suffering. :deep breath: Did I mention I really hate Bruce Barnes? I know it's hard to miss, given how subtle I am, but I do.

Thankfully Judd tears Bruce a new one and never have I wanted so badly to cheer.

"You keep saying we don't know how much time we have left, that people need Jesus before it's too late. So we do something about it and you criticize us for taking risks!"
"Now, Judd--"
"I know you're our pastor, but you're not our father. I don't know what everybody else thinks, but I'm prepared to risk this and a lot more. If it means the difference between people going to heaven or hell, I don't care what happens to me."

This may be the closest thing we get to a Huck moment in these books. Enjoy it while it lasts.

But Bruce says there's another underground believer at Nicholae High who believes they are all in grave danger. But right now, the whole world is in grave danger due to an evil (note I said evil and not eeevil) dictator coming into power, so needless to say I'm not all that shakened by Bruce's words. Bruce doesn't tell us who this person is in an attempt to create some suspense.

Judd says what I was thinking that they're endanger of being expelled which isn't exactly what anyone would call grave danger. But Bruce continues.

"Expulsion would endanger the whole group and your setup," Bruce said. "But this is worse than expulsion. Because of the high profile of the school, Global Communtiy forces want to make this a test case. They're talking about assigning GC monitors to the school, people with authority to make arrests."

Okay, so we're getting some real possible danger here, but I still have some questions. First of all, since when is a school in some distant Chicago suburb far away from the seat of the evil empire (referring to New Babylon, not Russia) a "high profile" school? Also if Nicholae is so all-consuming powerful that he's able to have monitors in every school, even a one-room school in some distant part of Africa, then why doesn't he already have them set up? Of course, doing so would probably lead to New Babylon being flooded with worthless tips ("That kid shouted 'Jesus Christ!' when he dropped his books on his foot. He must be a secret Christian.!") and so many other problems that any reader can probably point out the numerous obstacles to Nicky Cardamon's evil plan.

But fear not, the YTF have a plan! They're going to stash Bibles in Judd's garage. I'm dead serious. That's their plan. To horde Bibles to give to people who want to read them. As opposed to doing something useful like providing shelter to people who lost their homes because of the disaster (though to be fair, they could just camp out in one of the RTCs' empty houses) or stockpiling food and water so they'll survive the plagues. I am dead serious here people. I am only quoting what's in the book.

Next, Vicki goes to visit Shelly who tells her, her secret. Basically, before God came and slaughtered all the children, born and unborn, Shelly's mom was pregnant. But Shelly wasn't thrilled about the prospect of another sibling and told her Dad which led to a massive fight. Vicki's like "Uh your dad would have found out eventually." And Shelly says, "Not if she got an abortion." Then she ends this story with this.

"To be honest, I was kinda excited to have a little brother or sister. I thought that maybe I could take care of it, that it would make things better. I thought Mom might get some help, might sober up. But that night, when the Fischers and their babies vanished, God took my mom's baby too. He punished me for what I did."

It's strange how RTCs are anti-abortion, when their God gleefully slaughters all the children, born and unborn, therefore unintentionally acting like the RTC stereotype of abortionists.